An Open Letter to my Fears

Confronting my demons is the best way to overcome them.

Dear self-doubt, low self-esteem, and the fears that are the base of both,

I know that part of the reason you are here is to keep me safe. You are protecting me from potential failure, loss, and destruction of a sort. The comfort zones I have established in my life are comfortable, and moving out of them has a lot of potential for terrible, bad, no-good things.

It’s possible my goals are foolish and ludicrous. Maybe what I am seeking to do with my life is idiotic. I get that, and I can see why you are being so protective of me. You want me to be safe and comfortable, and not at risk for potential loss.

I have to see potential over problems

Certainly, I can allow you to keep on whispering from my subconscious into my conscious mind all about how I am unworthy, undeserving, incapable, and deluded. I can give in and accept that the number of problems I might encounter along the way could wreck everything I have.

But that’s not the truth, is it? Yeah, the worst-case scenario is that I screw-up so big that everyone abandons me and I am thrown out of my packs and left to utterly and completely fend for myself. I am pretty sure unless I perpetrate an atrocity of some sort I will land somewhere safe. Potentially uncomfortable, sure, but most likely safe.

I do not live on the Serengeti where wild animals may hunt me down. You are not protecting me from such. I live in a suburban community, and the vast majority of the things you represent are complete intangibles. Yes, they can also be scary, but they are nothing more than boogeymen and specters.

The potential for what I desire is to be able to truly walk my walk and talk my talk. When I write about conscious reality creation and all the potential therein I am looking not just at what I can do, but sharing that to show what other people can do as well.

I believe that my purpose in this world is to explore, discover, and create an amazing life living to the fullest potential I can — and assist other people in doing the same. I know that this is not just possible, but doable. You, doubt, low self-esteem, and fears of failure, success, and abandonment, are only as powerful as I allow you to be.

I have done it before — I can do it again

When faced with the greatest trial in my life and potential for my life to be utterly changed in ways I did not desire, I fought back. Sure, I could have given in to the potential problems and accepted that I may not walk again, fence again, or recover the use of my arm. But I didn’t. Those never truly crossed my mind, and you didn’t get to take root as such.

This time you come from a much deeper place, created when I was very young and more impressionable. Because I was one of those sensitive kids who grasped some rather abstract concepts before becoming a teenager, you burrowed in rather deeply. You came into existence based on information directly and indirectly gleaned from family, teachers, even random strangers when I was a kid.

Because you are in my subconscious, getting at you and confronting you is hard. But that’s why I am writing this letter to you. I am hereby putting you on notice that you are about to be evicted.

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

My life is mine

I am really, truly on the cusp of taking my life in the direction I have always desired for it to go. The goals I have in mind and have written down will be steps outside of my current comfort zones, but I know that that’s how you grow.

Yup, this is scary. There could be problems, challenges, obstacles, and the potential to totally mess it all up. But that’s not what I am going to focus on. No, I am going to focus on how this has the potential for me to set you aside, live fully and happily doing the things I love to do with the people I care most about.

The potential before me to find and create the life I have always desired is bigger than my fear of “what if?” You do not get to sabotage me this time, I am going to move forward and achieve what I am aiming to achieve.

I AM worthy of using mindfulness to create the reality in which I most desire to live. Further, I AM deserving of doing so as well. The old, old beliefs to the contrary that fuel you, my fears, will not retain power over me. That’s how it’s going to be because I know that when all is said and done I matter.

I know that you will still get to throw a few punches here and there. This letter is not the closure of this battle. I know that, too.

But what this is is more important. This is my declaration of independence from low self-esteem, self-doubt, and fear of potentially terrible possibilities. This is me creating focus to prevent self-sabotage, and take my life courageously where I intend for it to go.

This is your dismissal

You will be removed from the pit of my stomach. That sinking feeling in my chest that makes me uncertain and doubtful will be banished. This is me letting you know that I am consciously creating my reality and that you, self-doubt, low self-esteem, and fear, are not only out of the driver’s seat but off the bus.

Thank you for trying to protect me, but I know that I have got this.

Go away now, there is work to be done, and I don’t need you distracting me. My excitement over the potential for change and creating an amazing life is greater than all that you represent. I am worthy and deserving of the life I am working to build for myself, and I am capable of making it happen.

With gratitude for all the potential before me,

MJ

You are worthy and deserving of using your mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done you matter, and you can kick your self-doubt, low self-esteem, and fears to the curb, too.

Here are my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Written by

I am a practitioner of mindfulness, positivity, philosophy, & conscious reality creation. I love to inspire, open minds, & entertain. http://www.mjblehart.com

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