No two days are alike. Similar, certainty — but never alike.
Every single day of your life has potential and possibility. Anything can happen — anything at all.
Though planet Earth itself is relatively small — the Universe is nearly infinite. Hence why it goes to follow that there is always something new to be learned.
On the grand scale of life, the Universe, and everything, this is a broad statement. Science is constantly seeking new information and answers, working out problems, and critically thinking about the why, how, and wherefores of everything.
You are also constantly learning. Some of the things you have learned have been relatively huge — how to walk, how to talk, how to read, how to interact with other people, and so on. Many of the things you learn are also pretty big — how to be in a relationship with another person (platonic, romantic, business partnership, etc), skills to do a certain job, cooking, and the like.
Despite all of these things you can learn, there is one more gargantuan, constantly changing thing that you can learn and relearn again and again: YOU.
Learning who you are
I have observed throughout my life that many, many people haven’t the foggiest idea as to who they are.
I’m not saying they have an identity crisis, per se — but I am saying they do not know themselves.
There are a lot of reasons why this happens. The primary ones I can think of are difficulties in accepting change, insufficient mindfulness, and too much need for outside validation.
Difficulties in accepting change
Change happens whether you like it or not. It is the only constant in the Universe.
Who you are today is not who you were yesterday. Who I was when I was 28 is not even remotely who I am now that I’m almost 48. Hell, for that matter, who I was just five years ago isn’t entirely who I am now. Much more similar than the twenty-year gap — but still quite different.
Why? Because I’ve changed. Some of how I have changed was not intentional — and one thing I learn frequently is new ways to alter that. For example — working on a new lifestyle change to help get my body into better shape.
Some people have a very hard time accepting the inevitability of change. They like how things are and don’t want them different — especially within themselves. That can get particularly discordant when the nostalgia for how things were creates a totally artificial, false reality. When you’re unchanging from a way you were — that never was — this can cause a lot of conflicts.
You change all the time. It’s impossible to stop it — but you can control it and alter it.
It is far too easy to be caught up in your subconscious mind. It certainly doesn’t help that we live in a fear-based society where those in power prefer to disempower everyone else.
Because the collective consciousness tends to be subconscious, being conscious of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions open you to learn who you are.
The thing about this is that who you are today is going to be at least somewhat different tomorrow. Yet being mindful opens you to understanding, rolling with, and even controlling that.
Mindfulness ultimately is awareness of you. That awareness can show you where you might want to change. But most of all it lets you learn who you are.
Much of your subconscious is made up of old matter. Beliefs, ideas, notions learned at past points in your life, mixed with overwhelming information absorbed through experience, sources of information, and other people and their opinions. The subconscious mind is unfiltered. The conscious mind is better organized and arranged.
Mindfulness, it could be argued, is all about learning who you are.
Too much need for outside validation
I have struggled with this all my life. Whether it was my parents, friends, coworkers, peers, or anyone else — I have needed validation.
My fear of failure and fear of success are just manifestations of my greatest fear — fear of abandonment. That gets completely tied into the need for validation.
If I fail will people leave me? If I succeed will I drive people off? Will anybody notice my success or failure? Will somebody give me a medal or a monument? Are you noticing me and what I am doing?
Relying on validation from others in learning who you are kind of defeats the whole point. Why? Because you are not who anyone else thinks you are. While being a good, kind, caring, compassionate, and empathetic person is important — that’s about you, not anyone else.
Recognition for your achievements doesn’t teach you anything when all is said and done. This is because you are not who anyone else thinks you are.
Validation from others is about their opinion of you. That won’t teach you anything. But the mirror reflection of you that other people share can show you how you are perceived. That’s something you can learn from.
But you need to be open to just the impression — and not taking validation from it. Because that’s the problem with validation. It’s not really given — it’s taken.
The best example of what I mean by this is this: let’s say we are exchanging a quarter. Outside validation is you taking the quarter from my palm rather than me dropping it into yours. There is a notably different energy from these two manners of exchange.
Learning who you are scares some people
Finally, some people are afraid to learn who they are. There is an inherent fear that they’ll discover they’re bad. Or selfish. Or narcissistic.
To be fair — you might discover that who you are is not who you desire to be. But in that discovery — in learning who you are — you can take that knowledge and change it.
When you dislike who you are, the knowledge allows you to alter it. Now you have empowered yourself to get control and ultimately learn something new to change what you dislike.
Learning who you are is massively positive when all is said and done. Why? Because when you learn who you are you are now open to potential, possibility, and conscious reality creation for the better. You uncover new options, new pathways, and ultimately the ability to change to be who you would desire most to be.
There is ALWAYS something new to be discovered — even about yourself. How are you learning who you are today?
Learning who you are today isn’t hard — but it does require thought, feeling, and action
Knowing that you can learn who you are every day, you gain the power to discover new and awesome things about yourself, as well as to direct where you are going. When you work on learning who you are, you become more mindful and open to change — and that ultimately empowers you.
When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that can spread to people around you. This can create a feedback loop of awareness and positivity.
As such, you can build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of your life for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of the current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.
An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of immense positivity that can generate even more good energies — and that, like you, is always worthwhile.
Know that you are worthy and deserving of using mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done our thoughts, feelings, and actions matter, as does learning who we are — today and every day.
Originally published at http://titaniumdon.com on August 17, 2020.