Building Better Self-Belief

I think I can do this…but how do I truly believe it?

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Photo by Aurora Fox on Unsplash

I know without any doubt that consciousness creates reality. Why? Because I’ve made it work more than once.

When I got hit by a car while crossing the street 20 years ago and had a long road to recovery ahead of me, there was only one option. Complete recovery. Faster than any of my doctors or therapists expected, I was mostly back to my life as it was before, except with more scars and titanium plates in my body.

Then, when I saw no realistic means to make it happen, I managed to manifest a car when I needed to replace the one I had. There was a vision, I saw no alternative, and it was done.

These are just two disparate examples. I have more, but these are from particularly different needs.

Other times I can and have made this work. But when it comes to the overarching goals I pursue, I haven’t quite been able to close the deal.

Why? Doubt. Self-esteem issues. Disbelief.

All of these, separate or in combination, can and do make manifesting what I desire for my life challenging. To overcome them I need to build better self-belief.

The best way to work on this process is to address each of these issues.

Combatting doubt

This often takes the form of brain weasels. Yes, the annoying little voices chittering away in your head questioning every choice and decision you make.

What’s more, they also tend to tell you that you are unworthy, don’t deserve to succeed, and that you are incapable of getting where you are aiming to go.

Brain weasels lie. The doubt that you receive from them is based on incorrect data, old ideas, and beliefs, not of your own making — but that you have learned or created during your life experiences.

Mindfulness can help you to combat this. Becoming aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions gives you influence and control of them. That allows you to change them as needs be.

Doubt is sneaky. It creeps in with a seemingly logical argument that simultaneously tugs at your heart-strings. Doubt makes you feel the opposition and sympathize with it. That then opens you up to taking it in and believing it.

Being mindful can help you to feel empathy rather than sympathy. Then, you will understand the doubt but keep from drawing from it. When you can keep it out you can push it aside.

When you start to doubt it can be the first domino to fall that will, in turn, knock others down. That is why recognizing it for what it is, and taking intentional action of some sort to dismiss it, with mindfulness, is important to beat it when it creeps in.

I do not believe it’s possible to completely eliminate doubt. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Questioning beliefs and ideas is part of growth and change. Without some doubt, bad situations cannot be changed to good.

Building self-esteem

Part of the problem with how you esteem yourself — or not — is in the need for human contact. We are, even the most antisocial and introverted among us, social animals. Humans need other humans for conversation, to bounce ideas off one another, and just in general because of human nature.

However, it’s super easy to base esteem of yourself on the impressions, comments, and expectations of others. Rather than just socialize with people in order to balance yourself, you require validation. You look for approval, acceptance, and judgment.

When you turn outside of yourself you lose yourself in the process. So you base your self-esteem, not on how you feel, but how others make you feel.

The difference is, again, mindfulness. When you are aware of what you are thinking and what and how you are feeling, you also become aware of the intent of your actions. That allows you to take control, which is the only real control anyone can experience.

Being mindful helps you to see if you are esteeming yourself, or basing your self-worth on other people’s opinions.

The only way to fix a self-esteem issue is to know what your self-esteem is made of. Is it a self-belief, or is it an impression based on others?

Why does this matter? Because you are the only you that there is. Nobody else is in your head, so no one else can give you esteem the same way that you can esteem yourself.

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Photo by Katrina on Unsplash

Facing disbelief

This is last because it is frequently the product of both doubt and self-esteem matters.

How is disbelief different from doubt? Doubt is a singular notion — it’s a tree. Disbelief is the forest. These tie together easily, hence causing incapability of seeing the forest for the trees.

Doubt is an aspect of disbelief.

When I am striving to consciously create reality, it is because I believe that I can. It is wholly within my power to manifest the life I seek for myself, and all that will be within it.

Disbelief comes in to play when I am struggling, often as a product of doubt and low self-esteem. It looks something like this: If I am not as good a writer as I think I am, my value as a person is less. Then, if both of these are true, maybe I really can’t make my living with this work.

This is insidious and deeply debilitating. This can lead to depression, anxiety, and overall unpleasantness.

I am not going to lie here. You will encounter this when you are doing the work to manifest anything you seek. This is in part because of human nature, in part due to society at large, and because things will happen to throw you off from time to time.

I think I can do this…but how do I truly believe it?

This is where the real challenge lies. There is no magic pill, no tried and true answer, no single means to the end. But I have little doubt that it all comes down to mindfulness.

To become better aware of my thoughts and feelings, as well as the intentions behind any and all of my actions, I need to pause. Breathe. Meditate. Take some amount of time to go within and release the doubt, low self-esteem, and other inhibitors.

I can build better self-belief by being conscious and making a focused effort. I think this opens up room for a new affirmation here:

I believe I can consciously create my reality. It is within my power to release all doubt and to raise my self-esteem when it is low. I have done it before and I can do it again. Yes, I am worthy and deserving of manifesting my ideal life.

That feels right to me. Cheesy as I find affirmations, I also know how empowering they are. If I care to build better self-belief this is a good way to do so.

I need to not just pay this lip service, but to take it with me and employ it regularly.

This may not be what YOU need, but if I can do it, so can you.

You are worthy and deserving of using your mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done you and I matter.

Written by

I am a practitioner of mindfulness, positivity, philosophy, & conscious reality creation. I love to inspire, open minds, & entertain. http://www.mjblehart.com

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