We human beings are gifted with a myriad of means to communicate. We can talk, text, use hand gestures and body language, and even a combination of most of these to express ourselves to one another.
You can tell people things they did not know, or help them to understand your point of view. Or you can choose not to. But however you decide, the power of communication can be used for all sorts of different things.
You can express your thoughts and feelings. With communication, you can explain, educate, help, hurt, harm, heal…it goes on and on. Communication opens you and me up to be able to get to know one another and share experiences, good, bad, or indifferent.
Even knowing this, it still leads to an important question. Why are people so afraid of direct communication?
How often do you hear things about people from other people? What do you do when you learn from one friend that another friend is displeased with you about something? Why do people find it so very much easier to talk ABOUT people than to talk TO people?
The power of communication can be used to build or destroy, foment positivity or negativity. On the opposite side of this same coin, lack of communication is just as powerful.
So why are so many people so adverse to communicating and potentially creating better understanding?
Everything has consequences
When you say something about someone you will undoubtedly cause upset to somebody, directly or indirectly. It seldom matters if the topic is good or bad. But let’s be honest here — generally when you are speaking about someone, rather than to help someone the topics tend towards the negative.
This is something very hard to avoid. As much as I would rather not talk about people behind their backs, or gossip about their lives, or have conversations about issues, concerns, and whatnot…it happens. It’s almost a subconscious act.
I know that I have done things that have irked, annoyed, and otherwise pissed people off. At the same time, I am aware of things that I have been blamed for that were not my doing — though I can see how the blame would be placed on me.
The truth is that if conversation happened between me and the people who are displeased with me I think we’d have a genuine resolution rather than an unspoken issue. This is, of course, a two-way street — so I also need to do better about having conversations with people with whom I have issues, concerns, gripes, or what-have-you.
Society as a whole has moved further and further from holding conversations over matters both big and small. All you have to do is watch politics in motion and see how people twist one another’s words, cast blame like fishing lines into a trout-filled river, and stand around with their hands over their ears singing off-key tunes while ignoring each other.
Ever wonder how much a direct conversation might ease tension? Change the discussion? Shift from blame to finding/creating solutions?
Communication runs deep
Changing the high-level issues where communication lacks is not impossible, but it has to begin with each of us. You and I are empowered to communicate with one another about anything and everything — if we so choose.
The next time I find myself talking about someone or a thing they did (or maybe didn’t do) or a concern, I am going to pause. Where applicable, I am going to make an effort to communicate with them directly. Yes, that might go poorly and there might be upset caused…but communication may also open everyone up to better accountability, sharing, and treating people as they desire to be treated, too.
Direct communication TO a person may initially not be a good thing, but in the end, the positivity of it outweighs the negativity of talking ABOUT that person. When you have a problem with someone, you ultimately have the ability to address them about it.
Communication isn’t hard, but it does require action
Knowing that you can talk about people or to them, you can see what the impact may or may not be depending on what you choose to do. When you talk to someone, rather than about them, you open the two-way street of communication, which in turn can build better understanding between people. That ultimately empowers you. When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that tends to spread to other people around you.
As such, you can build more positive feelings and discover more things to feel positivity and gratitude.
Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of positivity that begets even more good energies — and that, like you, is always worthwhile.
You are worthy and deserving of using your mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done you matter, and you can choose how to communicate.
Originally published at http://titaniumdon.com on December 9, 2019.