Dear Brain Weasels,
You and I need to have a serious conversation here.
First, settle down! Shut up, I got some things to say to you all.
For my entire life, you and I have needed to coexist. For the most part, you’re fine, and only slightly obnoxious. But then, all too often, you are way too loud, far too active, and getting in my way.
I think the time has come for you and me to reach a new arrangement.
Listen up, because I am dictating the terms here, and brokering no dissent.
You are not the boss of me
First and foremost, I am in charge here. This is my head, my reality.
When I am practicing mindfulness and striving to become better aware of my thoughts and feelings, you need to shut up. I am tired of you constantly working on knocking me down a peg, insinuating that I am not good enough, and whispering ever-constant doubts into my mind.
Yes, I know you were borne from my insecurities, and that you are my skepticism and doubt. Sometimes you are a healthy reminder that there are things to be taken with a grain of salt. But other times, you are a nuisance, and, quite frankly, a liar.
If brain weasels wore pants, yours would be on fire.
So before you continue to dismiss my actions and my work on becoming better mindful of my thoughts and feelings, remember that I am in charge here.
This is non-negotiable.
I am good enough
As the Decapodian Ambassador said to Zoidberg on Futurama, “Enough with the persecution already!”
Yes, I hear you. I am not good enough. When I was in college, it was “you are not good enough to do professional radio”; after college, it was “you are not good enough to work in professional theatre”; now, it’s “you’re not good enough to make a living as a writer.”
You know what? That’s another lie. I AM good enough. I have always been good enough.
I have written and self-published 8 books, gotten published in 2 anthologies, written anywhere from 1 to 3 blogs weekly for over 7 years, and been blogging twice every weekday for about two months.
Every blog I get better. Every book, I get better. My skills are improving, my topics are getting more topical, and I am on the cusp of proving you utterly and totally wrong.
In other words, I AM good enough to make a living as a writer. Screw you for telling me otherwise.
You know what else? I am also good enough to continue advancing with my fencing skills, getting into better shape, and improving all my relationships.
So that’s enough out of you, I AM good enough, and you can take a long walk off a short pier.
I am worthy
Do I even need to get into this with you? While this tends to be a struggle from time to time and is often caused by my trying to prove myself to other people, I AM worthy.
I am a worthwhile person. There are all sorts of amazing things I give to the world around me. I am worthy of being loved, of doing what I am passionate about, and earning a decent living through things that make me happy.
While we’re on the subject:
I am deserving
Same basic line. Maybe I am imperfect, and I screw things up from time to time. Perhaps I can do better with my diet and exercise, mindfulness, and so on.
Whatever the case may be, I needn’t prove myself to YOU, certainly. I am deserving of all the good I desire to find, have, and create for my life.
You can chitter away in my head about how I am unworthy and undeserving of any achievements I strive for. I know that you will nag at me about whether I am worthy and deserving of succeeding at the things I give my energy to.
Guess what? I am worthy and I am deserving. You can just take your little rodent judgments out to pasture, and stop making a nuisance of yourselves.
It does not matter how others think of me
Yes, I want to make a good impression on people. Obviously, in order to make a living as a writer, people will need to want to read my work. Still, when all is said and done, what anyone else thinks of me is not all that important.
What’s that you say? It does matter because otherwise, I am nothing? Nope, totally a lie. I am a good person. Without a doubt I am imperfect, and maybe my ideas are still in need of refinement, but I am worthy and deserving of creating an amazing life.
If others do not think well of me, that’s not on me. I can’t get inside anyone else’s head. We all like and dislike various people. If I get hung up on trying to work with and through this, I will lose sight of myself. So you are mistaken, you weaselly annoyances.
Remember back in 2007 when that random dude, on the streets of Santa Fe, New Mexico, approached me? I’d seen him with a camera and tripod taking pictures, and thought to myself, huh, he looks like the actor Orlando Jones.
Then, all of sudden, he’s walking up to me and offers to shake my hand. Sure, ok. I shake his hand. And then he told me, “I just had to say, you’re an odd-looking fellow.”
Who does that? Well, that certainly was a clear insight into how someone thought of me, and it totally did not matter.
Let’s review, shall we?
So, dear brain weasels, let’s go over this again:
· You are not the boss of me.
· I am good enough.
· I am worthy and I am deserving.
· It does not matter how others think of me.
That being said, I know that you are trying to protect me. I know that you tell me these little lies in order to prevent me from potential hurt, failure, or meeting anything else I might fear to meet.
Thank you for that. But your methodology is flawed. Please stop whispering your sour you are nothings into my ears, and go take a vacation.
I would bet the bottom of the Marianas Trench is nice this time of year.
P.S. Would it kill you to be a cheerleader rather than buzzkill from time to time? Seriously.
You are worthy and deserving of using your mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done, you matter. Tell your brain weasels to go away.