I am not going to hold back any longer. I am showing who I am.
No more hiding aspects of who I am. The time is at hand for me to be the best me possible.
There are many aspects of myself that I tend to make light of, or give little to no acknowledgement of. Some of this has come from concerns about how people will take it. While other parts of it are my own internal fears.
One of the toughest questions to answer for a lot of people, and this was hard for me for a long time, is:
Who are you?
Even if you are not getting into an in depth existential inquiry about who you are, this can be a tough question to answer. Why? I think because we spend so much of our time reliving the past and focusing ahead to the future that we lose sight of the now. Only in the now is the answer true.
Who I was last year is not who I am now. Of course there are similarities and likenesses, but because the Universe constantly changes, who I am has changed. By this same token, who I will be next year is not who I was last year, nor who I am now. Same issue — change is constant.
Much of change is subtle and not easy to see. In particular, people tend to change slowly.
What you see in fiction is seldom true
How many stories are there where the protagonist has that great big “Ah-hah!” moment? Whether it’s Ebenezer Scrooge gaining a new outlook or Rey realizing she can use the Force, that instantaneous moment is always powerful.
In real life, for the most part, change is not instant. It takes time, because it takes concentrated effort. In especial when most change happens in the ebb and flow of life.
This is where becoming mindful impacts this. When you are aware of what you are thinking and how and what you are feeling, right here and now, you are mindful. As you gain mindfulness of your self, you gain the answer to the question of who you are.
Who I am
Who I am is not going to be who you are. Why does that matter? Because in addition to our society’s tendencies to look to the past and the future more than the now, we also tend to compare ourselves to others. In fact, we are frequently encouraged to compare ourselves to other people, to see how much more or less valuable than them we are.
This is just another aspect of our fear-based society and the use of lack and scarcity to control people. See what you have? Notice what you don’t have? What’s wrong with you?
Isn’t it amazing how easily we judge others? Often, in judging others, we also judge ourselves. But this easily gets out of hand quickly. Rather than seeing our strengths and positives, we see our lack, weaknesses, and negatives.
I am a champion at seeing my own shortcomings. I can tell you all day long about my mistakes, my failings, my screw-ups, and every other thing I haven’t gotten quite right. When it comes to my successes, my better qualities, and my victories, however, odds are I am going to remain silent.
Why? Perception. This is not just how I perceive myself, it’s also how I believe other people perceive me. And that is a hell of a trap to ensnare yourself in.
Perception is in the eye of the beholder
Every single person on this planet, all seven billion plus, has a unique perception of their world. There may well be similarities, but beyond that are the singular ways in which each of us thinks and feels.
How I think and feel is not the same as how you do.
Even when you are mindful, the only person you are truly mindful of is yourself. All other perceptions are actually assumptions about the perceptions of others, and can’t be factual because you are incapable of being in anyone else’s head.
You can be given the most vivid, well explained description of how and what another person is feeling and thinking, but it will still be nothing more than an impression. This is because there is nobody but you in your head, and everyone else is only in their own head.
What does joy feel like? Without actually describing it, I am pretty certain that my best detailed description will not be exactly the same as yours or anyone else’s. It may resonate and be pretty close, but it will still be different.
Perception is unique to each and every one of us. So who I am, as far as I know, is going to differ from who you may think I am.
So even in showing you who I am, your perception of me will differ from my own. Which begs the question — why do we so readily pretend to be other than we truly are?
Be the best of yourself
This is why I am showing who I am. I want to be the best me that I can be. For too long I have allowed myself to do this halfway. But that will not allow me to be the best me possible.
However you may perceive me, yourself, or anyone else, since it will be different and incomparable, denying or hiding aspects does not and should not matter.
Who I am is a worthy, deserving, and mindful man striving to live as a writer and healer, sharing ideas and concepts to open people to their own awareness and to imagination. I am a storyteller and humanist who believes that people are generally good and can become better. Conscious reality creation, mindfulness, and almost infinite possibilities are part of this abundant universe we live in.
I am striving to be the best me that I can be. In doing so, it is my desire to help you and anyone else interested in working to be the best that YOU can be. To do so, showing who I am allows me to speak my truth more clearly, and release fear about perceptions and outcomes over which I’ve no control.
It feels good to open this door. The next step, of course, is to walk through it.
Do you practice being who you are to the fullest extent you can?
Originally published at http://titaniumdon.com on May 1, 2019.