Some people are bad at standing up for themselves.
They will back down either because they dislike confrontation, they don’t believe that their cause is worthy of fighting, they think they are unworthy, they just don’t know what to do and how to stand up for themselves — or and combination of some or all of the above.
Still, it’s important — particularly if you are doing something that goes against the grain or isn’t the “norm” — to be bold. Make choices. Be decisive. Do no harm but take no shit.
I used to suck at being decisive. Being indecisive was my hallmark trademark inaction. As such, I lived at one crossroads or another for years at a time.
But then, as I realized how conscious reality creation works, I got better at making choices and decisions. I was better at seeing what needed doing and did it more often. There are still times I fail at this — but for the most part, I have improved a lot.
Still, being assertive can take a toll. Particularly when you meet resistance.
Resistance comes in two forms. Within and without.
People, places, and things — tangible and intangible — represent outside resistance.
This is when things generally out of your control happen. For example — I write books. Then I publish them. After that, they are out of my hands as to getting anyone to buy them.
Recognizing this, I have hired a company to help me with marketing. This is part of how I am combatting outside resistance.
If you have a job sucking your life dry — or someone at the job making you miserable — these are also representations of resistance without.
Further, certain day-to-day things count. Kids and their needs, if you have such. Taking a sick pet to the vet. Appointments running long and short.
Sometimes you have no control here. But then, other times, you do.
When it comes to do no harm but take no shit, it can be a matter of choice. For example, owing to an error on my part, I overdrew a bank account. This, in turn, led to an overdraft fee.
We’re in the middle of a pandemic. While I’ve been fortunate, others have not. That money has better places to be spent than on the bank. So, I called the bank and asked for this fee to be revoked. I was told, no can do, sorry.
Do no harm but take no shit. I said, okay, I will be taking care of this and then closing my account. THAT got a new reaction. I was told this could be escalated. Do that, I requested.
In the end — mind you, I’ve been with this bank for 25 years now — they rescinded the overdraft fee. I met the resistance without and took no shit -did not harm — and dealt with it.
More often than not, though, it’s resistance within that you face.
Take no shit from resistance within
Do you believe that you are worthy and deserving of success? Is there any idea you work with that you think is amazing? Do you feel that you can make a difference in the world?
Hopefully, you answer YES to all of these.
However, while the initial answer may be YES — it could be followed by ‘but’.
Yes, but — is resistance. You lack a skill, the wherewithal, knowledge, or drive to do this, that, or the other thing. Or, at least, that’s what you believe deep down.
When you are forging a path of your own — like working your own business — this can be one of the biggest challenges. Particularly if your work is mostly solo.
A lot of our internal beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities come from outdated info. Stuff you were fed in your childhood or otherwise exposed to that made you get there.
For example — I am a writer. I write a lot at this point, both fiction and nonfiction. However, one of the biggest bits of internal resistance I have is a nagging voice deep, deep in my subconscious.
That voice tells me how VERY few people can make it as a writer/artist/independent. It also reminds me that making money off your art is super-close to impossible. Lots, and lots, and lots of hard work — and even then, you probably won’t succeed.
THAT is resistance within. I know where those beliefs come from — and I alone can remove them via mindfulness. But to do that requires me to do no harm but take no shit.
What does that mean?
Mindfulness — no harm, no shit
Mindfulness, as I write frequently, is the practice of becoming aware and conscious of yourself.
It’s all about knowing what’s going on inside your head — where you, and you alone, exist. This occurs on three distinct levels.
On the surface, it’s your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. Knowing what you are thinking, what and how you are feeling, what you are doing, and why, tells you what you can and will attract. Conscious reality creation starts here.
The next level is how the tangibles of the first level impact your perception of the Universe. Thus, it’s your mindset/headspace/psyche and overall sense of being. Who you are, looking out of your eyes at the world is made up of this.
Deeper down, you find the beliefs and habits that form how you experience life. When you can reach this, you can see habits and beliefs that don’t serve you — and make choices and decisions to change/alter them.
It’s working on that deepest level that’s most challenging. Because this is where you have established your comfort zone.
When you take your own path and are working on your own business venture — or art, in my case — you often need to escape your comfort zone. And that is a challenge.
Beliefs and habits are products of our comfort zone. And changing them is not comfortable. But this is where it’s important to do no harm but take no shit. From yourself.
This is where you identify whether a risk is worth taking. I am talking about publishing that first book — versus jumping out of an airplane or not wearing a mask in a grocery store. When the risk does no real harm — then it’s important to take no shit from yourself and act.
Push past, push through
Some days, you need to push — do no harm but take no shit.
These are often challenges where growth and change are involved. As I am working on increasing brand recognition for myself as a writer — it can be scary. I am exploring places I’ve never been to before. But this is something I need to do for myself.
I believe in myself. When I face resistance — within or without — I am choosing to do no harm but take no shit and move my life forward.
You have choices and decisions for the same, too. And you are worthy and deserving of working with them. Yeah, it can be scary — but nothing worth having tends to be easy. Challenges make us grow. And for every challenge you face down the next tends to get easier.
Go out there, kick-ass, take names. Do no harm but take no shit.
Thank you for being part of my ongoing journey, for joining me, and for inspiring me and my craft.
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Thank you for reading. I am MJ Blehart. I write about mindfulness, conscious reality creation, positivity, my creative process, and similar life lessons.
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Originally published at https://www.mjblehart.com on December 26, 2020.