Member-only story
Do You Know How to Be Alone?
For many, many people, the answer is a resounding no — but alone is different from lonely.
First, this is not necessarily about dating and relationships. Second, it is not about a negative.
For many people, being alone is something they cannot tolerate. Alone is uncomfortable, and they do not work well with the implications of it.
I am a writer. As such, much of my time is spent alone. Sure, the cat might be sitting next to my mouse on the desk, but it’s just me here, at the keyboard, doing the work.
Some people in this sort of environment whither. They need other people around them. Crave background conversations and noise. I think that’s why some writers prefer coffee shops and bars for their work.
Yet being alone, in general, affords you an opportunity to go to places inside your own head. From there, you can work on better mindfulness, and be more cognizant of your thoughts and feelings. Since the only thing in the world which you can control is your thoughts and feelings, this is extremely useful.
Still, to a lot of people, the notion of being alone is really discomfiting. Why? Because then they have to work on and with themselves.