Do You Stay the Course or is it Time to Leave This Path?

How do you know if you should still stay the course or leave the path?

Murray "MJ" Blehart
6 min readMay 18, 2022

Stay the Course or is it Time to Leave This Path?
Photo by Murray “MJ” Blehart

I’m feeling frustrated.

That frustration is directly impacting what I’m doing. But more than that, it’s also taking a toll on my self-image, self-worth, and other thoughts and emotions.

Of course, it all comes down to money.

Like many people, I have a love/hate relationship with money. I love having it and hate being a slave to it. The constant discomfort based on how much or how little there is in our bank accounts tends to be a key factor in my overall wellness and wellbeing.

This, of course, ties into the path I have chosen for my life.

Over the years, I’ve held a lot of different conventional jobs. The majority have been service or admin-related. They include tech support, customer service, benefits administration, retail and retail management, IT support, marketing assistant, paralegal, office manager, admin assistant, and a few other odds and ends over a wide range of fields.

A common thread I discovered is that corporate America and I tend not to get along, working 9–5 or most 8-hour-a-day shifts winds up with a lot of empty, wasted time, and I tend to work at a pace that’s utterly non-standard.

Just writing the above is problematic and feeds into my frustration. Why? Because I feel guilt and shame.

Guilt, shame, and what you choose (or not)

Guilt has been an unfortunately large element of my life. And a great deal of it ties into my frustration and overall self-worth issues.

For most of my life, I have not measured up in the eyes of certain people close to me. I didn’t become a doctor, lawyer, or other high-paying professional. Then, just to add insult to injury, I didn’t get married until my early 40s, and my wife and I will not have children. Thus — less than.

There has been a large amount of judgment from there. That has led to a lot of self-judgment, too.

On top of that, I feel guilt due to a combination of my privilege, that I can make many of the choices that I’ve made…

Murray "MJ" Blehart

I explore mindfulness, positivity, philosophy, & conscious reality creation. I love to help & inspire. And I also write sci-fi/fantasy.