In the Torah (or Bible), the Jewish people wandered the desert for 40 years. When you take into literal account the relative size of the area of the world involved, that might seem like an awfully long time to be wandering around lost.
When you get metaphorical, however, this might seem a lot more familiar.
With very few exceptions (because let’s face it, there are ALWAYS exceptions), everyone spends some time “wandering the desert.” Why? Because as we evolve, change, and grow, the things we desire for our lives do so as well.
Thus, what you desired last year may be quite different from what you desire now. And, just to make it a little more complicated, you may know better what you don’t want over what you do. That, in particular, can be super-frustrating, in especial when friends, loved ones, and even acquaintances appear to get things done and accomplish things.
But you are not alone in this. Everybody spends at least some time “wandering the desert” because they don’t quite know what it is they desire from their life.
For some, this is a relatively short amount of time. For others, though, this is far more involved.
Not knowing is normal
Even the people who make decisions quickly spend at least SOME time not knowing what it is they desire. It may not be a lot of time, but I think it’s a safe bet to say that NOBODY is always in the know.
On the other side of the same coin, some people can seem to be wandering for a near-literal 40 years without knowing what it is they desire. They might take a stab at a thing here or there, but they still remain uncertain about precisely what it is they are after.
For a lot of people, this comes from innate indecision. Still, for others, it comes from being shown all-too-often what they DO NOT desire over what they do.
For example, let’s say you work for a small, start-up business. You witness how many mistakes your bosses make, their inability to communicate, missed opportunities, maltreatment of staff, and numerous other matters that barely keep them afloat. Ergo, you learn first-hand how not to run a business.
Despite it being in some respects easier to see what you do not desire over that which you do, this is not a matter of negativity. Learning from others, both their successes and failures, can do a great deal for moving your own life forward. There are lessons to be had in just about every experience.
It is perfectly normal to not know what it is you desire. You are not alone in facing this, and despite what anyone may tell you, not knowing doesn’t make you less than anyone else.
Stop for directions
Just like when you take a trip, sometimes, even with a GPS, you need to stop for directions.
Although you are the only one who can know what it is you desire for your life, that doesn’t mean you have to do it completely alone. There are gurus, instructors, teachers, and coaches of every size, shape, and stripe who can help you.
But it’s important to be mindful of these people. Taking advice from someone who is even more clueless than you is generally not going to help you. (Taking advice from someone also lost is not the same as working together to not be lost — equal footing versus looking to mentorship). Further, it’s good to recognize areas where some can help and others cannot.
A good mentor/instructor/coach is not all-knowing. Odds are they are specialized in some way or other. Whether an athletic coach getting your body to peak performance; a life coach providing tools to change your mindset; or an instructor teaching you how to better use MS Office software, each offers specific value, but also has limitations.
There are also blogs, books, and other options you can turn to in order to help you find direction. So long as you are mindful of the quest to find your path, even if you are currently lost and unsure of it, you can help yourself find yourself, and ultimately get where it is you desire to go.
Not knowing is not the same as not deserving
You are worthy and deserving of having a life that excites you. Just because you are unsure of what that looks like, or lost in the process of trying to find it, that doesn’t lessen how much you deserve it, or how worthy of it you are.
It is all too easy to judge your self-worth on what you think others expect from you. However, do you actually know what that is? Even when you do, chances are you lack the complete picture, because you only truly know your own mind.
You can only be mindful of yourself, and how you interact with others. When it comes to anyone else’s mindset, there’s no way to be in their head with them. How you think and feel, and what actions you take, as well as how you treat others is wholly yours.
Just because you are lost does not make you undeserving or unworthy of living an incredible life. You are worthy of your desires, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone else. The only person you have to be better than is you, and it’s not so much “better than” as much as it is about being your best.
You are empowered to consciously create your reality. Even when you don’t know what that should look like, even if you get lost in the process, you still can find and/or create it.
Don’t know what you want? Lost? Congrats, you are only human. This is perfectly ok because you are not the only one lacking direction from time to time.