Getting in Touch with Myself

Practicing mindfulness and digging deep to get in touch with me.

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Photo by Krishh on Unsplash

I have been writing about conscious reality creation for years, now. Probably the biggest key to this is the use of mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the awareness, here and now, of your conscious inner being. By being aware of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions you open yourself to your inner being — your mindset/headspace/psyche — and learn just where you are at in the now.

When you know where you are in the now — you can more clearly see where you have been and where you are going. This is important because when you fail to see where you have been you open yourself to repeating past mistakes, poor choices, and various other errors you didn’t fully learn from.

On the other side of that coin, by lacking that understanding of the past and not knowing where you are now, getting to the future gets a lot more challenging than it needs to be. If you don’t know where your inner being is in the here-and-now, finding paths to the future is that much more challenging.

One way to get in touch with your inner, mindful being, is to ask questions like:

I need to make a confession here. Frequently, I am finding when I ask this of myself, the answers are mixed and unclear. Getting in touch with myself has proven more difficult — and I want to share my process with you because I doubt that I am alone in this.

Mindfulness requires work

For me, most of these questions produce multiple answers. Or the answers lead to new questions.

For example, this morning I asked myself — what am I thinking? — The initial answer was unclear, and then I realized I was again thinking about the damned election. That led to more thoughts about garbage over which I have ZERO control — but that gets me angry, upset, and thinking about all the things wrong with people and the world right now.

That’s a lot to unpack. What’s more, it’s a lot of thoughts that are akin to junk food. Potato chips with equal lacking nutritional value.

These thoughts and feelings are not entirely mine. They are an amalgam of what I have been absorbing via the internet and conversations and scrolling through social media. I take it all in — and let it seep into me.

Now that I have seen this, I can work to release them — and focus on getting in touch with myself.

HOWEVER — it is important to be aware of the world without. When you ignore the outside world just for what is within you, important matters can be missed that you should be mindfully aware of.

Not to keep harping on the topic — but if you’re not paying attention to the aftermath of the election you are missing seeing a once great political party giving up on our democracy. And that may be something we can do very little about — but being aware of it still empowers us.

Like most things in life, though, the key is finding the sweet spot between information and inundation. When it becomes junk food and upsets your thoughts, feelings, and actions you need to use mindfulness to retake control.

Hence, why I need to work on getting in touch with myself again.

Getting in touch with myself

One of my biggest issues has been my emotions. In my mid-30s, I had probably the best therapist I’ve ever seen. He and I found some tremendous blocks nobody else had identified before.

The biggest of all was that, around age 6, I cut myself off from most of my emotions. While I could logically tell you what the emotions were, HOW they felt was not familiar to me. Particularly positive emotions. As such, I developed some unhealthy emotional blocks that would impact relationships, jobs, and my overall life trajectory for decades.

Opening myself to my missing emotions was huge. And it resulted in some incredible improvements in my life. Yet, I still have challenges with this because my emotional maturity is so varied.

On the one hand, I have a good handle on myself. But on the other hand, I sometimes must dig deep to find what and how I’m feeling — and what I am truly thinking about.

When I finally got to the root of the answer to the question — what am I thinking? — I saw that I was thinking I was not doing what I should be doing. My thoughts were scattered, and unclear. Mostly, they were simply unfocused and unclear.

This also confused my feelings. I was feeling perturbed, distressed, and annoyed with myself. For someone who preaches this mindfulness stuff, I seem to be rather terrible at it.

Then I stopped and I meditated on it. And by meditated, I mean that I closed my eyes and started looking around inside my head. Why am I here? How come I’m thinking unclearly and feeling lost?

This began a necessary dive into my inner being.

The depths of mindfulness

Once you get inside your own head — to your inner being i.e. your mindset/headspace/psyche — that opens the door to your subconscious.

Which is one of the best reasons to be mindful. Because mindfulness is an all-access pass to your conscious mind — which opens you to gain more insight into your subconscious and unconscious mind.

Diving into my inner being, I started to look back. There’s a pattern from my past when it comes to feeling lost and not thinking clearly. It’s always that fear of abandonment and the need for validation I have a hard time shaking. All of it ties into my deep-seated fear of abandonment.

Important note — while I feel irked and annoyed at this — I am ALSO validating it. Even after all this time, I’m allowed to have this struggle. That doesn’t mean I’m allowed to leave it be and not fix it — just that it’s there, and now it’s my place to fix it.

What it means is that getting in touch with myself, though scary, lets me be who I desire to be. When I am discontent with who I am — this is how I reconcile that. Becoming aware and conscious of my inner being opens me to face head-on the things holding me back.

Important note — this may not be a solo journey. It may be time for me to find a new therapist to get some more help with this. Also, it might be a good idea to start journaling FOR MYSELF again. While there is catharsis in sharing my journey with you, there are aspects that might need exploration that are not yet ready for primetime.

This is an ongoing practice. The end result is the ultimate control of where I am and where I desire to go.

Getting in touch with myself isn’t hard

It requires mindfulness of my thoughts, feelings, actions, and intent.

I am practicing mindfulness and digging deep to get in touch with myself. And that is a matter of positivity because self-knowledge is positive and empowering. Knowing that mindfulness lets me be present and reconcile where I have been with where I am, I open myself to better choices and decisions to get me to where I desire to be in the future.

When you work on getting in touch with your conscious self and becoming more aware through mindfulness — that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and can spread to people around you. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity.

You build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of your life for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of immense positivity. That positivity can generate even more good energies — and that, like you, is always worthwhile. You are worthy and deserving of all the good you desire.

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Thank you for reading. I am MJ Blehart. I write about mindfulness, conscious reality creation, positivity, and similar life lessons.
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Originally published at https://titaniumdon.com on January 4, 2021.

Written by

I am a practitioner of mindfulness, positivity, philosophy, & conscious reality creation. I love to inspire, open minds, & entertain. http://www.mjblehart.com

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