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I’m Not Responsible for How You Feel

It’s nearly impossible not to come across as callous for this.

Murray "MJ" Blehart
6 min readAug 21, 2024
Person turned away, facing a wall. Not responsible for how you feel.
Photo by Lucrezia Carnelos on Unsplash

I work hard not to be an asshole. This isn’t so much about me, as far as I’m concerned, as it is about being kind, compassionate, and empathetic. The world needs more kindness, compassion, and empathy; and giving them all comes with zero cost. This is what matters most.

That said, sometimes my words and actions cause hurt. I never set off with the intent of doing this, but it still happens.

The thing that’s often most frustrating about this is that I’m not responsible for how you feel. It’s not my responsibility to manage your feelings, good, bad, or otherwise.

That sounds cold and callous, I know. But it’s still utterly true, and I think important to recognize.

It’s all too easy to blame someone for hurting you. While it takes two to tango, and you can and will feel hurt due to actions by another, they’re not responsible for that. Not unless they blatantly, intentionally, with malice of forethought set out to hurt you.

When you feel hurt because of something happening on the part of another person, they are not responsible for how you feel.

Initial reactions happen

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Murray "MJ" Blehart
Murray "MJ" Blehart

Written by Murray "MJ" Blehart

I explore mindfulness, positivity, philosophy, & conscious reality creation. I love to help & inspire. Also, I write sci-fi/fantasy. http://mjblehart.com

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