The vast majority of what I write about, when not a work of fiction, is mindfulness, conscious reality creation, and positivity. Inspiration, self-help, philosophy. From time to time I toss out something political.
There are several topics that, for various reasons, I had been interested in writing and sharing here. But as much as I think they are great and worthwhile topics, without getting into any specifics — I can’t share them with you.
Still, I thought they were worth putting out there. So I took another approach. I created a second account, under another name, and started to get them out of my head and into the world.
At the time, it really seemed like a good idea. But in practice, it is proving to be too ambitious. Also, it’s not gotten any traction, and for many reasons, I am going to let it go.
Often I talk about not giving up, sticking with something, and pushing through. If you really desire to have a thing you need to keep working on it and towards it. Yet in this instance, I am not going to do that, and instead am letting it go.
Why? What’s different? That’s what I want to write about today.
The topics I was going to be writing about involve some ideas that I am unable to share here. Why? Because they are too personal and are not entirely about me alone. That’s really all I am going to say about it.
I thought they would be intriguing things to explore and get out of my head. Further, I was certain they’d be interesting and entertaining to other readers.
The initial thrill of writing these things out faded surprisingly fast. I thought I had enough ideas to create daily works. Instead, far quicker than I thought possible, I was at a loss for what to share.
Then I started to struggle with whether or not I wanted to continue this. It seemed like a good idea at the time…where did the thrill of making this happen go?
That’s part of the nature of working with the forbidden. Part of the thrill is that you might get caught doing something you are not supposed to do. It’s why a kid steals a candy bar, lovers cheat on each other, and stories of taboo and other outside-the-norm things have a draw. This is a “bad” thing, you know you are being naughty — but you are doing it anyhow.
When the naughtiness buzz wears off, though, the thrill can go with it. Hence why the kid who steals a candy bar doesn’t become a thief and why cheaters confess and beg forgiveness.
Doesn’t that sound like this was going to be really salacious stuff? That was the next issue.
It’s not all that interesting
I thought these topics would make for interesting writing. The experience of getting it out there, both the creation and the sharing, would be cathartic.
Nope. It turned out to be much more of a struggle. And not just in the sense of getting the words on the screen but in the notion of figuring out just what to write and how to write it.
Writing is joy in my life. I love the act, it brings me pleasure and makes me happy. It took me quite a while to reconcile being two writers and becoming just a single brand. Now, however, I was proposing that I be three writers.
Like coal, oil, and natural gas this is unsustainable. At least, for me. Being a writer of fiction and philosophical inspirational self-help is like being a solar panel or wind turbine — sustainable more-or-less forever.
The joy that I normally feel in everything I write was not there. It felt very much like I was forcing it. Perhaps that’s why it had no traction at all — and that may have been apparent to the readers.
If I’d had any.
It became a distraction
It’s funny, really, but I already write in 3 distinct genres. Ok, more than three, but for the sake of my personal brand let’s just stay with this.
I write for business, which is very different from what I otherwise produce. Then there are the fiction and the philosophical-mindfulness-self-help musings like this one. While the new account took something of a left turn at Albuquerque from my usual philosophizing it was still on this line. It was just digging into places I cannot dig into here.
It seemed like a good idea at the time. It really did. A nom de plume, exploring new territory. And while I worked at that I haven’t written a word of fiction in a month.
Not to mention that I have 2 novels to edit. One fantasy novel, long overdue, to get to a professional editor. One sci-fi novel recently returned by the editor, the start of what I hope will be a fun series of intergalactic epicness.
The distraction of the alternative persona I created and the ideas I was going to share through him were not useful to my overall existence. It didn’t enhance any of my other work. So I have determined that letting it go is the best idea.
Some ideas don’t work
The reality of conscious reality creation is that it’s an imperfect process. Lots of factors can impede your progress, and not every idea you have to get from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’ is doable.
Trial and error is a thing. Some of the most brilliant scientific minds in history failed more times than they succeeded. They chose, however, to take each failure as a lesson rather than as proof that they couldn’t succeed.
That’s what this was. An experiment. It was interesting, and it was challenging, and it didn’t work. Ok. I can live with that. So I will cut my losses, take my lessons and move on.
When you recognize that the idea is unsustainable, even if it seemed like a good idea at the time, you can keep stumbling around with it or let it go. I have analyzed the idea, the application and execution of it along with the current results. The most logical and I think the wisest conclusion is to declare it over and move on.
Not everything I write is gold. Some of it is pyrite. But everything that I write ups my game, improves my ability and skill as an author. The more words and ideas I share the more I level-up, so to speak. That’s how it works.
The idea was good at the time, but not for a long-term commitment. Lessons learned, experience had…let’s see what mischief I can get myself into from here.
What idea(s) have you set in motion only to learn a lesson from and then let go of?
You are worthy and deserving of using your mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done you and I matter, even when your idea turned out to be less good than you thought it would be.