Nobody likes to be insulted. Condescension is infuriating. Being ignored, disregarded, and neglected tend to make us feel bad.
So why do we do this to ourselves the most frequently?
The examples are plenty. And because we get caught up in world happenings, dramas, social matters, and our various needs and desires we tend to miss it.
What am I talking about? How many of these are familiar?
· I am fat and perpetually out-of-shape.
· Damn, I am always running late.
· Why is it that I am so stupid?
· I am never getting anything right.
· Why is it that I am a failure?
· I am a fuck-up.
· I am unworthy and undeserving of success.
· You know I am slow.
· I am never lucky.
· You know that I am a terrible person.
Any of this litany as familiar to you as it is to me? I know I have said to myself many of the above statements. And even when sarcastic, they are based in truth.
Not very nice, right? Would you take this sort of abuse if I AM were replaced by YOU ARE and coming from someone else? Not well, I can tell you that.
So how come we accept less of and from ourselves? Because of a false belief in lack, scarcity, and selfishness.
Putting yourself first is not selfish
I know many, many people who put others way ahead of themselves. Some don’t even put themselves closer than third in any given priorities.
Now I understand, logically, some reasons for this. Children need to be guided and are often put first by their parents for numerous reasons. Jobs and work get put first over self-care because society tells you way too often your worth is tied directly to your job. Friends and loved ones are put first because you want to care for them — and caring for yourself, you think, may lessen your ability to do that.
And that, right there, is the issue. Lack. Scarcity. Insufficiency. The core of our fear-based society tends to be these artifices. There isn’t enough of ‘X’ or a lack of ‘Y’ or thing ‘Z’ is scarce and hard to come by. Hence, you will suffer when they are gone.
That’s never true, however. We live in an abundant Universe. What’s more, just because thing ‘X’ might run out doesn’t mean you won’t discover a replacement for it that’s better.
This is even truer of intangibles. All the emotions, feelings, thoughts, ideas, notions, skills, abilities, and so on are in abundance.
Why? Because there are nearly 8 billion people (8,000,000,000) on this planet. ALL of them think, feel, act, and work with intentions.
Given how many of these things YOU have within you — multiply that by 8 billion. I can’t fathom how big a number that gets to be — can you?
This is why putting yourself first isn’t selfish. Because doing so doesn’t detract or take anything from anyone else.
When you believe it does, you have bought into the lie of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency.
A quick overview of selfishness
I feel the need to reiterate this point. We are led to believe that anything that puts us ahead of others is selfish. And let’s face it — we have numerous terrible examples of people who do exactly this.
But it is not selfish to put yourself first. Why? Because you are not denying anything from anyone else.
THAT is what selfishness is. It’s taking too much, leaving nothing for anyone else with intent and malice of forethought. It’s doing things to make billions of dollars today while willfully poisoning the planet tomorrow. Won’t be your problem, so fuck the future generations and the planet.
Selfishness involves knowingly denying others the same good, causing harm and hurt, wantonly destroying with the intent of letting nobody else get it, and other disgusting acts of that nature.
Taking a fair share for your own good is not selfish. If someone else does come up lacking because of it, unless you knew that would be the outcome — and did it anyhow — you are not selfish.
This is not about a sinking ship, the life raft only accommodating 6 people, and you not getting aboard the raft to allow someone else to be saved. This is everyday life happenings where you disregard your good and unnecessarily sacrifice to avoid the appearance of selfishness.
Because over time sacrifice WILL lead to resentment. It doesn’t make you a better person to always ignore your good for others — just a bitterer one. Everyone has a threshold for abuse — even when it’s self-inflicted.
Recognize that disregarding yourself lessens what you can do not just for you but anyone else, too. Self-care is not selfish.
The words I AM empower you
When you follow I AM with a negative statement you disempower yourself. You rob yourself of strength, potential, and possibility.
What’s more, you reinforce negativity towards yourself. Doing that is going to help you find more negatives.
The Law of Attraction works whether you believe in it or not. It’s as much a law of nature like gravity and motion. Like attracts like. Think ill of yourself and you will find more ill to think of for your self.
This starts a downward spiral — and before you know it depression, anxiety, and unhappiness dominate your life.
This is why being cognizant of what follows I AM is so important. These are the ultimate words of creation. They are why and how consciousness creates reality.
Practicing mindfulness brings the I AM statements into the forefront of your mindset/headspace/psyche. Then, the awareness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions allows you to make changes as you desire to.
EVERYONE is capable of incredible things. You can empower yourself just by being aware, conscious, and mindful of what follows I AM statements.
If my previous examples resonated with you, mindfulness will let you act on changing them. Thus, you gain the ability to alter them for your betterment. You can choose more empowering I AM statements to build yourself up and make improvements.
· I am getting into shape.
· Today, I am running on time or early.
· I am learning new things constantly.
· When I am wrong it’s a learning experience.
· I am worthy and deserving of success.
· Yes — I am a good person.
Note — certain statements don’t need a reverse approach. They’re better just being dropped.
Adding the power of THANK YOU and gratitude
One of the best ways to change your I AM statements for the better is by working on gratitude.
Gratitude is empowering. Both giving and receiving gratitude is a builder.
After I AM, the two next most powerful creators in the Universe are THANK YOU.
Think about it. When you are grateful to someone for doing something nice or helping you — doesn’t it feel incredible? Likewise, when someone expresses gratitude to you for something that you did — doesn’t it feel incredible?
I love to help people. That’s why I write these articles and share them daily. My goal is to explore my life experiences and share the lessons and ideas I learn to help you. Even when I am an example of what doesn’t work for you — that is a way for me to help you.
I am grateful for all the good in my life. That’s not to say there isn’t room for growth, evolution, and improvement — but that’s the whole point of life. We are constantly growing, evolving, changing, and open to improvement.
Numerous forces disempower because they buy into (and sometimes create) the lack, scarcity, and insufficiency artifices. They are either victims of or perpetrators of our fear-based society.
Gratitude and saying THANK YOU is pure empowerment. It is an ultimate builder, a creator of bridges between people, places, things, tangibles, and intangibles.
I AM GRATEFUL is among the most powerful statements you can make. It can create incredible things for you and others. Gratitude — both genuinely given and received — empowers both the giver and receiver.
Recognizing the power of I AM and THANK YOU
These two simple phrases make and break people all the time.
But they ultimately can empower you to be anything you desire to be. You can make your life how you would care to experience it.
You are worthy and deserving of this. I know that there’s another lie out there that to get certain things you need to come from money, have an expected level of education, specific gender or skin color, and other artifices. But that is all these are — artificial notions that are not the truth.
The truth is that this is an abundant Universe. Lack, scarcity, and insufficiency are not the truth. When a resource runs out a replacement can and will be found. There is more than enough to go around.
This is even truer of intangibles. All the emotions, dreams, thoughts, actions, and whatnot you can imagine are possible.
Don’t believe me? Watch a movie about the future from the 60s, 70s, or 80s. Note how many of the technologies — or better — envisioned for the future exist now in our reality. Someone took an idea and made it something real — or was inspired to make something even better.
My first mobile phone made calls. That was all. My iPhone today can make calls, as well as access virtually all the available knowledge of the world in seconds.
I am grateful that this is the world I get to experience. The possibilities for EVERYONE are only limited by limitations of our own making.
I AM can build nearly anything you can imagine. THANK YOU can generate incalculable power to create. They are available to you, me, and everyone to be employed to empower.
What do you follow I AM with, and what will you say THANK YOU for today?
Thank you for reading. I am MJ Blehart. I write about mindfulness, conscious reality creation, positivity, and similar life lessons.