Stumbling Over Old Beliefs

Murray "MJ" Blehart
8 min readSep 11, 2019

Practicing mindfulness alone doesn’t always open the door to change old beliefs.

One of the key elements of Pathwalking is using mindfulness to consciously create reality. Ergo, I am doing things to better myself and create the life I most desire to live.

There are two super-frustrating things I cannot seem to get out of my head. These are my thought processes when it comes to money and when it comes to weight loss/body consciousness.

Specifically, these are brain weasels chittering endlessly away at me, telling me that I am unworthy, that I do not deserve to earn a decent living, and that I am fat and undesirable because that’s how I am.

No matter how much mindfulness I employ to get my thoughts and feelings aligned, no matter how long I meditate for every day, I cannot seem to rid myself of these particular self-doubts.

These have been the two biggest obstacles in my path. Clearly, they are rooted so deeply that I have not been capable of getting to their source to take them on. So, if you will indulge me, let’s see if writing it out gets me closer to where I desire to be.

Old beliefs, like old habits, die hard

In both cases, I am pretty sure this is going to require digging into my murky, hazy childhood. For the most part, my memories from between the ages of 6 and 11 are scattered at best, discombobulated, and super-hazy. I think I blocked a lot of stuff out from that period of my life for a whole host of different reasons.

In that time of my life my parents divorced, my dad moved halfway across the country from us and my grandparents retired halfway across the country in the opposite direction. There was a shit-ton of upheaval going on, and I was a clever, overly-sensitive kid at the eye of the storm.

Let me just make this clear — I DO NOT blame anyone for how I am now due to that time. I know lots of people will blame their parents for screwing them up, but I don’t. This was forty years ago, and so at this point, the onus and ownership of my screwed-up psyche are on me. Why? Because I am old enough to take accountability for what’s in my own head, and cope accordingly.

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Murray "MJ" Blehart

I explore mindfulness, positivity, philosophy, & conscious reality creation. I love to help & inspire. And I also write sci-fi/fantasy. http://www.mjblehart.com