People are always on the lookout for the next big thing. Doesn’t matter what that is, if it’s new and awesome they want it.
Society is obsessed with instant gratification. Do it NOW. Quick-fix. My meal should be cooked in 5 minutes, not 30. And so on.
This also gets applied to psychology, mental health, weight loss, and general self-improvement and self-awareness. We want to be cured, feel less angry, get thinner, become more aware and wiser instantly. Right now. What’s the holdup?
To become who you are and how you are, right now, took time. Aspects took years, maybe even decades. How do you think it’s even remotely possible you can change instantly to something or someone else?
Further, if you spent most of your life living in your subconscious mind, do you really think you can be entirely conscious and fix your issues right at this moment?
There is a great line from The Princess Bride that covers this notion a bit skeptically, but still not entirely incorrectly.
“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
I don’t agree that life is pain…but life is crazy. It is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, good and bad, pleasant and unpleasant, and numerous other dualities, paradoxes, intricacies, and so on.
One of the most pervasive paradoxes of life is that it is both incredibly simple and ludicrously complicated. Some aspects of life are so easy that it feels as if you put in zero effort, while other aspects of life feel so insurmountable that if you make them happen you feel like a total rock star.
So, why are there no instant solutions to, well, pretty much anything?
Mindfulness and change
Just because you fix something now doesn’t mean it will stay fixed. Accepting this is a challenge in and of itself, but is an unavoidable truth about the workings of the Universe.
Everything changes. Constantly. Frequently. This is a very hard truth for many people to accept because change is a doorway to the unknown. That, in and of itself, is scary for a lot of people.
When you have established something over a long period of time, do you really think you can change or replace it quickly? By-and-large, the answer is a resounding no.
This gets particularly complicated when that something is all about mindset. This is difficult to change because that tends to require a much better and clearer awareness of the now.
This then ties into the idea that time and reality are merely illusions. Because everyone is unique, everyone perceives both time and reality in their own way, from their own perspective.
Thus, my reality and perception of it are not — and will not be — the same as yours.
Changing reality, altering your life, takes time and effort. This can be a tough pill to swallow by itself. It also takes time to undo something that was created and believed for a long period of time.
A belief acquired in childhood roots deep into your psyche. Uprooting it and replacing it takes time and conscious effort. There is no quick fix, nor instantaneous option that will make that come up any faster.
How long will it take? I don’t know.
The illusion of time and reality
Ever notice how when you are really enjoying something time just seems to fly by? Conversely, ever experience an unpleasant lecture or conversation where time hardly seems to move at all? These are examples of how time is an illusion.
Yes, the sun rises and sets daily. But the demarcations of time created within that are completely artificial. Don’t believe me? Compare the Jewish calendar to the Gregorian calendar. The year and the months measure out very differently, but does that change how you or anyone else perceives time? Probably not.
The same can be said of reality. Because of the difference between how everyone perceives the world from within their own, unique headspace, reality is different for all. The name of the feelings we have may be similar, but how we feel them are likely very different.
This is why something I consider incredibly beautiful in nature you might consider blah or ugly. The variances in how you and I perceive reality explain this.
This is part of why no quick fix will work. Our perception of time is so wildly variable that it alone interferes with the idea of a quick fix. Also, my definition of fast might be slow compared to yours, and vice versa.
This is also why I cannot tell you how long making any sort of change will take. It will be dependent on how long you THINK and FEEL it will take, and the work and focus that you put into making a given change.
Why won’t the instant quick fix work, then? Because more often than not quick fixes and products of instant gratification address symptoms, not the underlying issues at hand.
Resistance of underlying matters
The things people tend to want to change about themselves are based on very old underlying matters. These are beliefs that were often created in childhood, based largely on what other people told you about the workings of the world.
Because these roots were planted a long ago, and rather deeply into your psyche, getting at them to remove or replace them takes time. Often, they produce symptoms that are far more obvious and treatable. But the underlying matter is much harder to get at.
For example, as a child, I developed a really messed-up idea of how money works. There was a lot of commentary about people and money that I gleaned from both sides of my family, and these were conflicting.
Fast forward to my adulthood, and nothing I do employment-wise tends to be fulfilling, and I always feel as though I am in a constant struggle with money. To be sure there are quick fixes to this, but they never take on the underlying matter. So I still face the same struggle because I haven’t addressed the deeply buried roots at the source.
The underlying issue produces things that look like the problem, but are just minor aspects. The resistance of the underlying matter needs to be explored and addressed if I truly desire to deal with it. This is forty-plus years of deep-rooted belief. Of course, repairing or replacing this is going to take time and work.
I am empowered to work with this. The choice is mine as to whether I will keep treating the bits and pieces that spring up — or go after the underlying matter. No quick fix, no instantly gratifying solution…but the reward of working on this is not to be ignored.
Focus on the outcome
When you are mindful of the here-and-now and aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions, you are empowered. That empowerment will help you to help yourself initiate any changes you’d like to make.
Quick fixes and instant gratification tend to be external. No system can be truly changed from without, change begins within.
When you see the desired outcome in the now, as if you have already achieved it, you open yourself to conscious reality creation and making it so. How long it will take is going to depend on how well you can focus on thinking, feeling, and believing the change is made. While focused on that you also need to be mindful of not letting potential quick fixes distract you.
How will you know? I can’t tell you for certain, but I know that you’ll feel a sense of achievement and satisfaction. The annoying symptoms produced by the underlying matter will abate or stop bothering you. You will cease to desire to make the change because it will be done.
You are worthy and deserving of making this happen. However long it may take, time and reality can be manipulated to consciously create and manifest the best you that you can be.
You are worthy and deserving of using your mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done you and I matter, no longer how long change takes to happen.