I am a very independent person. For a long time, I was not fond of seeking help from people. But times change, and as I have studied positivity, mindfulness, and conscious reality creation, I have become better at recognizing that help can come in many forms. What’s more, I can see that it has value, as well as numerous uses.
One of the hardest things to seek out help for is yourself. If you are fighting depression, loneliness, anxiety, or anything else, it is often difficult to ask for help. Why? Because it feels shameful.
One of the more bizarre paradoxes of our culture is the mixed ideas of “a little help from your friends” and “pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps.” Seek and find help when you need it — but really just do it yourself. Mixed messages much?
I’ve struggled with this. More than once I attempted to get help but felt some shame for not being able to just do what I intended on my own. On the other side of that, though, I have also worked entirely on my own and gotten no results, either.
This is the reason why recognizing that there is no shame in seeking help is so important.
Help can take many forms
The help that you may seek out can be in one of many different forms. It might be professional counseling, coaching, tutoring, books, audiobooks, guided meditations, medications like antidepressant and antianxiety drugs, and many other possibilities.
Again, this touches on yet another paradox of this society. You are encouraged to discuss the assistance you seek out, but at the same time, there is a stigma attached to these kinds of drugs, therapy, life coaching, and many other aspects of the above-mentioned forms. Is it any wonder that so many people have a need for help? I’m frequently amazed that people are not so conflicted that they all become schizophrenic from the vastly different mixed messages.
There is no shame in seeking help.
I am not ashamed to ask for help, so I am going to share with you what I do and have done to get help in my life.
The help I have sought
Since my childhood, I have been in and out of therapy of various types. Mostly seeing psychologists, throwing in the occasional psychiatrist (largely for prescriptions for antidepressants).
Mind you, I am not blaming them here, but for the sake of context — the divorce of my parents when I was 5 or 6 had quite an impact on me. But I saw some pretty amazing therapists along the way, and I believe my understanding of myself and other people has become what it is in part because of the tools they taught me.
Yes, I have also gone onto antidepressants more than once to rebalance my chemical makeup, and am on one now in fact. I am not sharing this with you to garner pity or sympathy, but rather to empathize with anyone else who needs this. There is no shame in seeking and getting help, and I am sharing my own experience because I am not ashamed.
I have also hired a life coach, listened to or read a ton of motivational, spiritual, self-help books and podcasts and other programs. All of these have helped me out along the way as I work on managing, creating, and living the life I most desire to live.
I know that I cannot do it all myself. I’ve tried, and trust me when I tell you that it doesn’t go anywhere good. Nobody can do everything themselves. It does not matter who you are or where you come from, you will need help from time to time.
Release the shame and stigma
For far longer than I’ve been alive on this planet, there has been shame and stigma attached to getting help on many levels. It gets so bad sometimes that people who could truly use the assistance won’t seek it out because they buy into the hype of the shame of it.
But that’s not the truth. Various things happen along the way that can and will require you to get help. Some are fairly small and seemingly trivial, while others are almost impossibly huge. No matter what it is you are working with, you have every right to seek out help.
Let me make this perfectly clear. You are worthy and deserving of getting whatever help you need. Whether that’s therapy, coaching, education, general information, or what-have-you. There is nothing you need to do to prove your worth, because you are here in the first place, and nobody is undeserving of help if they need it. Period, end of story.
Equally important — THERE IS NO SHAME IN SEEKING OUT HELP. It is time to stop letting the idea that shame for getting help is even slightly a thing, and time to encourage people to get help when they need it.
If you encounter someone talking about shame and stigma with getting help, whatever form it takes, you can’t be passive. You need to state plainly that there is no shame in seeking out help.
If more people speak up and make it abundantly clear that seeking help is not a bad thing, you and I can change this. Ending this stigma will make the world a better place.
Act locally to impact on a global scale
When you are frequently bombarded by big-picture notions and ills, it can feel selfish to work on yourself. But nothing could be further from the truth.
If you neglect your own needs, you lessen what you have to give to others. That’s an unavoidable fact. If you don’t care for yourself, you lack what you need to care for anyone else. If you starve yourself to fight world hunger you will become too weak to put up much of a fight. You have to care for your own needs.
What that means is that when you seek help, and you discuss that there is no shame in doing so, you can impact the people around you. It’s possible that when they see you doing that, they will also let go of the shame and stigma, seek help, and spread it. That could keep moving outwards exponentially, and before too long your work that began with yourself has had an impact on the world at large, and those big-picture notions.
To be the best you that you can be, and from there present all of your gifts to the world, do not be afraid or feel ashamed to seek out help as you need it, however you need it. You are worthy and deserving of living the fullest, most satisfying and enjoyable life that you can. There is no shame in getting help to do so.
You are not alone in this. I know it feels like you are sometimes, but everybody needs help from time to time. I know that I do.
Together, we can help the world see that there is no shame in seeking out whatever form of help you need.
You are worthy and deserving of using your mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done you matter, and there is no shame in seeking out help when you need it.