Turning 50 — Where Am I Now and Where Am I Going?

Reflecting on becoming my true, genuine self and expanding that going forward.

Photo by Joyce Adams on Unsplash

When I turned 30 in 2002, I freaked out about it.

I was (mostly) single, working a lame-ass job, and largely discontent with my lot in life.

What’s more, I was much more prone to believing the messages about how my life was supposed to look. At 30, as far as I knew, I was supposed to be at least in a serious relationship, following a real career path, and doing other things that “normal” 30-year-olds did.

I have never been good at normal. Though I had recovered from the injuries I’d received after being hit by a car while crossing a street, my life was still wrought with uncertainty, and I had no clue who I was, where I was going, what I desired to do, and so on.

I spent most of my 20s and 30s in this way.

Ten years later, when I turn 40 in 2012, I was in a very different mindset. I’d begun to develop my Pathwalking life philosophy — as well as to work on living it. Rather than resist the pull of a life in a very different direction, I was actively making choices and decisions about the journey.

At 40, I was living with my future wife, working a job I liked, and was increasingly…