Do you have thoughts and feelings about yourself that do not make you feel very good? If you do, it’s important to recognize this, because such thoughts complicate anything and everything you desire to do.
I think everyone has experience with this. While it’s easy to express this about other people, the internal dialogue most of us are running is all about ourselves.
This is not about vanity or conceit, this is about mindfulness and being aware of what you think of yourself. Few people look in the mirror and think I am amazing or I am awesome or I look great.
No, more often than not we look into the mirror and think I am fat or I am getting old or How am I going to f*^k myself up today? Not very complimentary, is that?
The thing is, while most of us guard what we say to people directly, we tend to have no filters for the self. What’s more, we also tend to treat ourselves with far too little kindness. Because this tends to be a form of autopilot for most people, we build it up until it becomes this impression of the self which we use to define ourselves.
When we define ourselves by negatives, we make it that much harder to create anything we might desire. Consciousness creates reality, and because that’s the case, when you are thinking no-good thoughts of yourself, you tend to draw that to you.
When you become aware of this, you open yourself up to creating a new and better inner dialogue.
How you think of yourself is yours to control
You cannot do anything about what anyone else thinks of you. Ever learn that someone despises you, and you cannot figure out why? Ever set out to rectify the situation, and get them to like you? Then, if it didn’t work, do you start questioning if they know something about you that you don’t? Since I’ve encountered this, I would bet that this is not a foreign concept for you, either.
Accepting that we cannot change how others think can be a bitter pill to swallow. In especial when that comes to ourselves. Yet because we tend to see how others think of us as a mirror, we get upset because we think the problem is in ourselves.
A lot of people take this and start to make external changes. Maybe you change how you act around people, maybe you change your look, or some other shift in how you go about making an impression on other people. Trouble is, that this will still not give you control over how other people think, feel, and act towards you.
But what you can change is how you think of yourself. Further, you can also change how you feel about and act towards yourself.
What you may fail to realize is that you have the power to do this. You are empowered to take charge of your self, and change the things you are not fond of. It may not be easy, and it will almost certainly take time and effort, but if you find that your thoughts and feelings towards yourself are unkind, it is in your best interest to make changes.
Thinking of yourself is not selfish
You might be thinking here, well, that’s all well and good, but isn’t this a selfish idea? No, it’s not. Why? Because when you do not give yourself proper care, you leave yourself with a lot less to give overall.
Self-care is not selfish. What IS selfish is when you knowingly act to deny things to other people.
Say you buy a pizza for you and three of your friends. If the pizza was cut into eight slices, you each get two. If one of your friends only wants one slice, and you want three, and you ask if you can have their second slice and they say yes, that isn’t a selfish act.
IF, however, you just take three slices without saying a word and leave somebody with only one, THAT is a selfish act. If the pizza cost twelve dollars, and you paid, and demand that each of your three friends give you four dollars to cover their share, THAT is a selfish act.
Acts of selfishness involve taking. Giving care to yourself, ergo, is not a selfish act.
So when you look in the mirror, and you have negative thoughts about yourself, it behooves you to change them. If you look in the mirror and think damn my hair is getting grey, and that makes you feel sad, change the thought. Be mindful of what you are thinking, and instead maybe think my salt and pepper hair makes me look distinguished.
It is too easy to not be aware of the unpleasant, unkind, and even disrespectful thoughts we have about ourselves. One of the primary reasons to practice mindfulness, as such, is to change this.
Change how you think of yourself
Recognizing that thinking unkind thoughts of yourself makes you feel bad, it’s a good idea to change this. Be more mindful about what you think of yourself, and strive to be nicer.
It’s a lot easier to be nice to other people than to be nice to ourselves. I think this is because we are taught from a young age to treat others well, but at the same time get mixed messages about ourselves. When you are told in one breath that you are a smart kid, then in another breath you’re a fat kid, that can mess with you for a long time.
Because the truth is, many of the thoughts we keep for our selves are rooted in old, outdated information. It’s like you may be running your current life as Windows 10, but you’re trying to read a file from software written for Windows 95 that isn’t backwards compatible. Maybe you can’t read the file, maybe you can read the file, but not really comprehend it, or in the worst case scenario the file crashes your system.
What you believed about yourself at age 11 is not true of who you are at age 40. This is why becoming mindful of how you think of yourself is so very important. When you recognize this, you can reprogram and change it to meet your current reality.
Be the change you wish to see
Please keep this in mind: Changing the way you think and feel about yourself is intended to improve how you approach life. It gets you to a positive place to work from, rather than a negative one. However, even if you change and feel and think better about yourself, this may have zero impact on anyone else. It is still important, because it will allow you to be better overall.
The only way in which you can change the world is by changing yourself. Change is inevitable, but you can choose if you want to direct it, or just let it happen. When it comes to how you think and feel about yourself, you have the power and the ability to change this.
Be kind to yourself. You are worthy and deserving of all the good you desire. If you think unpleasant thoughts and feel badly about yourself, you are empowered and deserving of changing that. Be mindful of this, and take action to make it happen.
Believe in yourself. You’ve got this.