Do not wait for the right time, the right situation, or whatever perfect storm you desire. Be who you want to be, right now. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, be who you desire to be.
I have spent a good part of my life struggling with my own identity. This has come in a lot of different forms, but it has mostly been a combination of being indecisive about who I am, concerns about who I was, and in all of that trying to be something for other people. I have spent a lot of my time navel-gazing, pondering imponderables, trying to figure it all out.
I think that everybody does this. The how varies from person to person. Part of the human condition is asking all kinds of questions. We won’t always like the answers, and worse, often we are not asking the right questions.
For a long time, I have been struggling with being who I most desire to be. I have this image of myself at the goal I desire to reach. There I am, healthier, in better physical shape, promoting my writing works and being a person who has the financial security to travel and help others with mindfulness and conscious reality creation.
Current and past reality are in many ways contrary to who I most desire to be. In the past, I worked necessary but unfulfilling jobs because I needed to make money to pay my bills. There were a lot of episodes of indecision, and I did things I am less than proud of.
Currently, I am struggling because I am not exercising sufficiently and not always making the most of my time day to day.
Now is the time
I write about awareness, consciousness, mindfulness, and being in the here-and-now. Part of conscious reality creation is being in the now because that’s how you best manifest your desires.
Despite everything I write about this, I frequently find it hard to practice what I preach, so to speak. For example, one time I had set up a thing that I anticipated going very differently from how it went. When it failed, I took it personally.
While I acknowledge it’s possible the failure may have been avoided if I had been more diligent, I was pretty certain that I HAD been thorough. But this put me into a negative spiral.
This matter going wrong reminded me of other problems and ongoing struggles. Inconsistencies and obstacles in getting from where I am to where I want to be. Negative issues got placed under a microscope, which blew them up to be even bigger. That, inevitably, led to looking at past failings.
This is ALWAYS a slippery slope. When you start to look at how you got to where you are now, and that puts a focus on failures, it’s not simply disheartening. It will depress the hell out of you. Depression sucks.
Of course, depression is a liar, and when it strikes it may begin to tell you that you are unworthy, undeserving, and that of course life sucks…but this is what you have earned.
That is not the truth.
Even though I took action to negate the depression, it only pushed it aside for a time. When it hit me again soon after, I found I could not focus, uncovered more reasons to feel bad about myself, and of course that complicated everything else going forward.
Consciousness creates reality. Knowing this, I acted to do something about it.
Be in the here-and-now
When all this went down, I looked out my window at the snow, and on impulse pulled on my hiking boots, a hoodie, and my jacket. Despite the slick slush on the ground and the snowy sleet falling steadily from the sky, I went for a walk.
I listened as the snow pelted against my hood, and my feet crunched and splooshed in the slush. I walked along the path looking for a quieter spot, where there would be less road noise and other distractions. After fifteen minutes, I paused and stood still.
I felt the slight breeze and not-too-cold air on my face and listened to the sleet falling on my hood and coat. I closed my eyes, slowed my breathing, placing myself completely in the moment, in the here-and-now.
Standing there, utterly in the moment, I realized where my trouble was. One phrase came to mind.
Be who you want to be
Don’t just think about. Don’t wait until the time is right or the weather changes or the money is there or whatever else you’re waiting for. Be who you want to be. Right now. Just be.
As I think about who I desire to be, I realize that there are so many ways I can do this, right now. I don’t need to wait for change, I need to be who I desire to be, now. I need to stand up taller, exude more confidence, identify myself as the person I want to be.
Many of the books and articles I have read or listened to say the same thing. Who you are now is the product of who you WERE. Awareness generates manifestation, and that is why being in the here-and-now is so important. That is why you need to be who you want and most desire to be, now.
Be who you are, not who you were
Even if your present experience is not how you desire for your life to be, knowing that it is the product of your past and previous thoughts, feelings, and actions, you gain awareness. Now that you are aware, you have the power to be who you want to be, right now. Choose not to see that person down-the-line of in-the-future or forthcoming. Be that person now.
This is what I am working on. Rather than see the end of the path I walk ahead of me, I am working to see myself at that endpoint, right now, as though it has been done. I see my mantra as my reality:
I have abundance, I have prosperity. I am a good person, worthy and deserving of all the abundance, prosperity, success, wealth and joy. Succeed or fail, I am supported, and I am loved.
Not I will be or it’s coming soon, but right now. This is who I am.
Further, I need to also employ my new affirmation more frequently:
I am worthwhile, skilled, loved, and I deserve all the good things in my life.
There are many tools available to help you be who you want and desire to be. There is no time like the present to make this choice, use mindfulness to know your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and be the best you that you can be.
You are not alone. You can be whatever and whomever you put your mind to being. Do all that you can to see it as already here, and in the now.
Who do you desire to be?
You are worthy and deserving of using your mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done you and I matter — so be who you would choose to be.