Who is the Best Me that I can be?

This is the ultimate question for any of us when you get right down to it.

I am the only me that there is. Though other people on planet Earth may share some similar traits, ideals, morals, goals and the like, nobody else is me.

Thus, I am one in 7+ billion…which is true of you as well. When all is said and done about how you and I are different versus how we are similar, an important matter to be recognized is that we are not in competition.

When it comes to professional sports, spelling bees, auditions for parts in theatre and movies and the like, you compete. That is not the same as being in competition with your fellow humans. When it comes to creating the life you lead and being who you are, the only person you are ever in competition with is yourself.

I am striving to be the best me that I can be. What does that even mean? It means that I look at my life as it is today. The good, the bad, the things I would, could, and should improve upon. As I look these things over I get to decide what I will choose to change — or not.

It doesn’t matter what my friends, family, or neighbors are doing. This is not about what you have versus what I have. This is about recognizing myself and doing the work to be the best that I can be, and all that this can mean.

The best me is not a matter of arrogance

For a long time, I have either held back, self-sabotaged, or otherwise done things to lessen myself, to be who I believed that you and the other people in my life may have preferred that I be.

For years I played the role of the clown, the cut-up, the aloof goofball because I believed that it made me more approachable. If people were laughing with me they accepted me and wanted me around. Over the last five or six years, though, I have determined that persona is not who I am. So I am working to release it, and to be a different me than I was.

In doing this I am working to be more genuine, more me. I am projecting more confidence, being a voice of reason, and not shying away from giving answers if I know them or asking questions that need to be asked.

The best me is sometimes still the clown, but overall that’s not who I am.

One of the reasons I held that persona for so many years was a fear of rejection, but also a fear of being a know-it-all, arrogant, selfish person. Maybe this makes me unique, maybe not, but I both know a lot about a little and a little about a lot. It depends entirely on the subject matter at hand. What’s more, I love, love, love to learn.

I have feared for a long time that the best me will come across as smug, vain, and obnoxious. Thus unlikeable.

The trouble is, in not being true to myself I am not being my best. Why does that matter? Because if I am not being the best me that I can be, I limit all the things I can do.

Why do I desire to be the best me that I can be?

One of the things I most desire to do with my life is to give more. If I can help people reach their potential, whatever form that takes; if I can help them to grow, change, and be the best THEY can be, it makes me feel good. Being my best allows me to be a better example, and to show that you can do this and make the most of your life as you can, too.

Look, we are only on this planet for a finite period of time. Everything I have studied about the Human condition tells me that we are not just here to survive but to thrive. Every single one of us has the potential to be incredible.

Unfortunately, as human beings formed societies and created artificial stratifications and differences, those who came to power more often than not have strived to hoard that power. To do so, they frequently have made use of fear to direct and control people as they would have them be.

Now, you and I live in a fear-based society centuries in the making. The “powerful” use fear to keep people from reaching their fullest potential, largely because of their own fear of losing the tentative power they have. If the rest of us recognize just how artificial that power truly is, we need them a lot less…and do far more for ourselves.

The best me that I can be is my desire because that allows me to do more for you. When I empower myself in this way I can do more to help you be empowered too.

Your why for being the best you that you can be is going to be different, even if there are similarities. But being your best is not selfish.

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Photo by Andreas Chu on Unsplash

The reality of selfishness

It is not selfish to be the best me that I can be. Yet a lot of mixed messages I encounter tell me that being my best is selfish.

Why? Does being my best take away from you? If I am at my best does it mean that I am denying someone else the ability to be their best? Does being my best cause me to harm anyone else in the process?

The answer is not simply no, but frankly, just the opposite.

When I am the best me that I can be I am working to do my part to make this whole world a better place.

Would you like to know why I desire to have an abundance of money? Part of it is to have no debt, cover any and all of my expenses, and acquire a few toys I’d like to have. But more importantly, I want to give more.

Having an abundance of money lets me give more to charities and causes I believe in, to treat my friends and family to awesome things, and to help the people I care about.

Selfishness is not having things for myself. Nor is it self-care, or taking time for things I need and desire. No, selfishness would be taking away from someone else so that I can have a thing.

If I intentionally support someone who is taking your rights and freedoms away because of my fear of potential loss of what I have, THAT is selfish. Buying something to keep it from you, THAT is selfish. Not sharing abundance and hoarding what I have is selfish.

Unless my intent is to do harm, to keep you down, or deny you something for my gain, then I am not being selfish. This applies to you, too.

Why does it matter?

If I am not being the best me that I can be, neither am I being my most genuine self. If I am not coming from a place of authenticity I am being less-than true to you as well as myself.

It is my desire to give the world my thoughts for mindfulness, conscious reality creation, and positivity, in order to empower people. More empowered people, more control over the world in which we live — and maybe we can change the fear-base of this society to reason-based instead.

When I write fiction it is my desire to entertain, to open your imagination by sharing mine, and empower you to see potential and possibility through fictional people, places, and things. Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist may be a work of fiction, but that doesn’t lessen how incredibly empowering and inspirational it has been to not just me, but millions of other readers.

The point of this is that being the best me that I can be means I am not holding back. It matters in that I am being my most credible self, and that I am coming from a place of integrity when I offer the ideas, tools, and help that I do.

If I am the best me that I can be, I can better provide help, insight, and anything else you might require to work on being the best you that you can be.

We were not put here just to be dim points of light, but to shine as bright stars. The prospect of that excites me and invigorates me to endeavor to be my best…how about you?

You are worthy and deserving of using your mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done you matter, and you can be the best you that you can be.

Here are my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Written by

I am a practitioner of mindfulness, positivity, philosophy, & conscious reality creation. I love to inspire, open minds, & entertain. http://www.mjblehart.com

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