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Why Am I Afraid to Succeed?
How does the question “what if I succeed?” evoke subconscious fear?
This question has been plaguing my path for a long time.
Every time I work on a path I desire to follow — something happens that causes me to abandon it, stop giving it my full attention, and/or self-sabotage. This is, of course, not conducive to success.
Why? Why do I always do this? How come I am constantly getting in my own way? What causes me to get oh-so-close to success and then lose all momentum?
Fear. The answer is fear.
Fear of success? Most definitely.
Why would I fear success? Because with success comes change. And change is full to overflowing of uncertainty. It’s the unknown.
If I manage to succeed things will change. And somewhere, deep inside my psyche, I fear success.
For a long time, I lived my life in indecision. Frequently, I made no choices, hmmed and hawed about this, that, or the other thing. I didn’t commit to anything — jobs, relationships, homes — take your pick. For years, my theme song was U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.
I spent all my 20s and more than half of my 30s in this state. The grass was always greener, there was a better place to…
