Why Am I Feeling This Way?

An exercise in self-analysis.

Murray "MJ" Blehart

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A man sitting contemplatively above lighted space at night. Why am I feeling this way?
Photo by Minh Trần on Unsplash

As I write this, I’m preparing for my annual vacation to southwestern Pennsylvania. I have attended an enormous medieval reenactment event every year since 1996 (save 2 years due to the COVID pandemic).

This draws 10,000 people or more, and we spend up to 2 weeks hanging out with friends, enjoying classes on all sorts of medieval topics, eating, and partaking in various forms of combat. I have been doing medieval rapier combat (fencing) with the organization for over 30 years, and there are lots of tournaments, melee combats, and chances for pick-up fights with friends.

(FYI, “medieval” in this context is a catch-all phrase. Given that the group’s time period spans from the Fall of Rome to the death of Elizabeth I of England and nearly every world culture, it’s well beyond medieval).

This is not camping, per se. It’s really glamping. I have a canvass pavilion, sleep in a tatami mat on a real bed frame, and my camp has a fairly extensive kitchen and hot-water showers. While the equipment the camp itself uses is stored on-site, I have to pack and transport my stuff.

As of this writing, I’ve done this 27 times, loaded up 8 different cars with an ever-growing amount of gear, and camped from 1 to 2 weeks (usually doing 9–10 days on average).

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Murray "MJ" Blehart

I explore mindfulness, positivity, philosophy, & conscious reality creation. I love to help & inspire. Also, I write sci-fi/fantasy. http://mjblehart.com