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Why Are Intentions and Feelings Frequently Misaligned?
No matter your intentions, you have zero control over anyone’s feelings but your own.
Lots of people approach things with good intentions. But what does that mean? It means that you might say or do something that’s not intended to be hurtful, mean, offensive, or otherwise upsetting. You have good or neutral — not bad — intentions.
How come, even when your intentions are neutral or good, you still cause hurt to someone? Because you can control the feelings of only one person on the entire planet. That’s you.
On the receiving end, this can be especially challenging. While I can control my feelings — there is a degree of work and effort that goes into action on that. Why? Because human beings develop visceral, automated reactions to things via time, experience, education, environment, and more, that go into the routine and automatic programming. This is. In part, to free us to think and feel actively on other matters.
Most reactions are instantaneous. What’s more, they’re frequently something you didn’t expect or prepare for. That’s because the other people in the world are often unpredictable.
Hence, when someone’s intention impacts you — unless there was a prior discussion between you, it was…
