I blog every weekday. Most of what I write about covers mental and emotional health matters.
As an empath, I can feel other people’s emotions — sometimes more clearly than my own. Right now, we are living in one of the most uncertain realities most of us have ever experienced.
Without getting into the specifics — because it just isn’t necessary — this current world situation is impacting the collective consciousness on multiple levels.
First, it raises a lot of mental questions:
· Why am I doing the things I am doing?
· What can I do to change this stuff?
· How do these things impact me?
· What’s my part in all of this?
· Why should I bother to make choices — does it ultimately matter?
This is just a sample of questions I know I’ve considered. It takes a real mental toll on me, and I know I am not alone in that.
Then, there are a wide number of emotional issues that come up:
· Why am I feeling like this?
· How do I deal with the anger this evokes?
· What can I do with this hopeless feeling?
· Am I going to continue to be this easily infuriated?
· What the fuck?
It doesn’t help, of course, that the emotions and thoughts are often dissimilar and disconnected.
The ultimate question all of this leads me to is:
Why be bothered?
The short answer is because if I don’t bother, I cannot choose or decide to do anything for myself or anyone else.
Choices every single day
There are days where it feels like maybe I just shouldn’t bother. Dear gods, how can people be so ignorant, selfish, arrogant, unkind, and cruel?
There are days when climbing under a pillow fort seems like a brilliant plan. Also, there are days where getting in my car and driving away — no idea to where — also seems wise. And then there are days where I wonder if I should have just stayed in bed and not bothered.
Choices. All of these are choices. Rational, irrational, logical, illogical, foolish, wise, whatever — all are choices. And they fall on me to be made.
Lots of people make no choices at all. Then they wonder why life gets away from them, and they are displeased, distressed, and generally unhappy.
Choosing things for your life — great or small — impacts what you experience.
To be fair, there are times when it totally feels like it just doesn’t matter what you choose. But it always does. While there are certainly times when you can decide not to decide and make no choice — more often than not, you are better off being bothered and choosing.
For example, when you choose you to take responsibility. Some people find that to be a weakness — but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Accountability for your life is a matter of control. So, making choices for how to be and what to do matter as to what control you do or do not have.
What’s the difference between a choice and a decision?
A choice is an act of empowerment to make a selection for numerous tangibles and intangibles in life. A decision is a resolution or determination that is an act of concluding what to do or not.
Hence, why you decide to choose or not. Deciding to choose is resolving to select something — big or small, material or immaterial.
Choices tend to be more clear-cut than decisions. A choice is between this, that, or the other thing. A decision, on the other hand, tends to have more nuance, implication, and potential impact than a choice. It also can be far more abstract, too.
For example — you choose what to wear today. But you decide what to include in the wardrobe available to choose from.
A lot of people thus feel decisions are bigger. But the truth is, they’re not — they just tend to be more overarching. And, like choices, they can be changed.
Nothing is written in stone — unless, ya know, you write it in stone. The decisions you make can thus be altered and changed when needs be.
Why be bothered? Because when you don’t decide you limit your choices and relinquish your control. Deciding to be for or against something opens possibility — whereas remaining neutral or undecided leaves you in limbo without direction.
Choices and decisions, FYI, tend to be the action aspect of mindfulness.
Actions speak louder than words
When you can’t be bothered and don’t make decisions or choices — you cede your control. If you don’t choose to do something, you’ve not only still made a choice — to do nothing — but also to allow another control to choose for you.
Mindfulness is how you be conscious of your mindset/headspace/psyche in the here-and-now. It is made up of a mental component — thought; an emotional component — feeling; and you gain control with action.
This is, when all is said and done, the reason to be bothered. When you don’t bother you give away your control.
I used to be a major control freak. It made me rather crazy to let anyone else have control of anything I did. Of course, I also tended to avoid choices and decisions — which, ironically, meant I gave away the control I so badly wanted.
As I’ve come to better understand how the Universe works, I know now that action — specifically intentional action — that comes from choices and decisions is where true control lies.
Why? Because the only person I can control in any way, shape, or form, is me.
Being mindful of my thoughts, feelings, and the intent of my actions expresses the choices and decisions I make. But when I don’t choose or decide for myself — I give away my control.
Which, ultimately, gives away your power.
Why be Bothered?
Because all the other options take away your control. When you don’t bother you might as well be rolling over and showing your belly in surrender.
When you don’t bother you yield your power.
I know there are times where the constant, ongoing, never-ending struggle becomes exhausting. Particularly as an empath feeling the emotions of others — I’m easily wiped out right now.
There are times where you can choose to not be bothered. When you know you have ZERO influence or impact on something it may be best for your mental health to back away. But that is still a decision that you make — and still a reason to bother.
You are empowered to live your life how best you choose. Up against a badly strained collective consciousness in a fear-based society, even the least empathic person is feeling it. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bother to choose and decide. But make sure those choices and decisions are for you.
Finally — the other reason to be bothered is that the world needs more kindness, compassion, and empathy than it needs indifference and negative emotions. When you bother to care you can contribute to the greater good and positively influence the collective consciousness.
Being in control does NOT mean treating others poorly. Give what you desire to get — be the change you wish to see in the world.
That is the answer to why be bothered.
Know that you are worthy and deserving of using mindfulness to find and/or create the reality in which you desire to live. When all is said and done our thoughts, feelings, and actions matter, as does bothering to make choices and decisions.