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Why Does Getting Over Feeling Hurt Take So Long?
Even unintentional hurt that we are made feel tends to linger.
Someone that I care a great deal about hurt me.
Let me be clear about several facts in this matter. First — I know it was not their intent to cause me hurt. They were in their own odd headspace, and it made them less receptive to the impact their actions had.
Second — Given our history, this should not have come as the surprise that it did. Yet it caught me off guard, and though I half expected it to happen — the hurt I felt was greater and more unpleasant than anticipated.
Third — and most importantly — I am responsible for how I feel. Look, I know they did not intentionally — or with malice of forethought — hurt me. Hell, I half expect they don’t even realize how hurt I feel. But that’s not the point of this. The point is that this is how I feel, and I must be responsible for it.
This can be a really bitter pill to swallow. And there are numerous reasons why. Probably the most important is validity.
My feelings in this are completely and totally valid. That I feel hurt is valid. They did something that hit me emotionally hard and caused me to feel hurt. This is a completely valid feeling.