Why don’t you go for it?
Is there something that you would really like to do with your life? Do you have a dream or goal of some sort that you have always wanted to achieve? Is there something that excites you, lights you up, and makes you lose time that you really want to do?
If the answer is yes, then the question is — why don’t you go for it?
There are, I would imagine, any number of reasons why you don’t go for it.
· Not enough hours in the day.
· Insufficient money.
· Someone/something holding you back.
· Disbelief in the worthiness of going for it.
· Fear of rejection/failure/loss.
· Some other seemingly reasonable reason that is, in fact, an excuse.
Whatever holds you back from going for it is denying you the opportunity to live life to the fullest. Maybe you don’t think that’s a big deal, but realistically, it kind of is.
You only have one go-round in this body, and this life. Do you want to just let life happen to you and around you, or would you prefer to live and experience it for real?
Taking chances is scary
Straight to the point, for a lot of people the thing they desire to do is unconventional. Maybe you want to create a band, write and publish a novel, open a restaurant, groom animals, make and sell crafts, or something else along those lines. You want to get away from an office job, the set 9–5 schedule, and/or working with and for other people whom you have NO control over.
One of the most distressing paradoxes of our society is how two-faced it can be. You will be encouraged to become an entrepreneur, but at the same time told how risky that is. The American dream is supposedly to be a self-made entity, but you get frowned upon and often face obstacles when you don’t go along with a more standard life choice.
Other examples include choosing a job you love over one that pays a lot; getting married but deciding to have no kids; renting instead of buying your home; spending time in any hobby that isn’t watching sports, playing conventional sports or exercise; or anything else unusual.
I don’t know if that looks as familiar to you as it is to me; whether or not it is, it still describes numerous factors that will keep you from going for it.
Another problem is our overall fear-based society. We seek comfort in the familiar, so when someone steps out of that familiar, we fear for them.
When it’s you, how can you not be scared with everyone heaping their own fear on you?
Most of the fear is intangible
No, you cannot deny that some of the things you might go for could cause you to lose your home, your money, and possibly friends and other relations. Those are the tangible fears to be scared of. But if you are anything like me, most of your biggest fears are intangible.
I have an equal fear of failure and success. Why? Because either could ultimately cause me to be abandoned — and in being abandoned to lose comfort.
Comfort is not just the clothes you wear, the chair you sit in, or the bed you sleep on. The biggest source of comfort for most people is the familiar.
You have people, places and things that are familiar to you. In familiarity, you gain a sense of comfort, and that in turn can cause you not to go for it. This is why you are seeing all the talks, blogs, and books about getting out of your comfort zones.
Because the familiar is so comfortable, and people like to be comfortable, the fear of losing it can cause us not to act. Rather than go for it and do something exciting that could change your life for the better, you stay in the ho-hum job, unhealthy relationship, broken-down home, overpriced city, and so on.
This is also a fear of change. Change means that the unfamiliar will happen, and that can be disconcerting.
When you take a really close look at it, however, you may discover that your fear is far worse than what you will likely experience if you go for it.
What do you fear to lose?
One of my favorite quotes from Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist covers this particularly well:
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”
When you get down to the reason for a fear of losing the familiar, the real fear is that you will suffer from the loss. Being abandoned, losing familiar and comfortable surroundings and people could be the cause of a lot of suffering. Nobody likes to suffer, whether it is physical, emotional, or spiritual.
Thus, it seems easy to not go for it, and avoid suffering.
Have you done this before? I have. Because I feared losing the friendships and familiarity of the things in my life, I didn’t make any real use of my college degree in theatre; didn’t look for a job in radio EVERYWHERE; I did not pursue making anything of my writing for over a decade.
Nope, I treaded water in the familiar, bounced between unsatisfying jobs and poor dating practices, and kept longing for more. I didn’t go for it, and while maybe I would have suffered had I done so, I might also have created a very different life for myself a decade or two ago.
Please note — I do not have regrets about past decisions or lack thereof. There is no nostalgia for my past. I love who I am now, and I am working on going for it to become my truest self. The reason I am sharing my past with you is because I know that some of what I have gone through you may have as well. It is always good to know you are not alone.
So — When will you go for it?
Yes, this question is rather in-your-face. But you cannot disregard the fact that this is your only life in this body, on this world, in this time. As such, you get to choose if you want to life it as much and as completely as possible, or if you will accept less than you believe you should have.
You don’t need to be richer, thinner, wiser, or in better shape mentally or physically. As long as you keep it as something ahead of you, that’s where it will remain. This is why mindfulness is so very important.
Mindfulness is the awareness of who you are, what you are thinking, and how and what you are feeling. As these are the only things in the Universe over which you have any influence or potential control, they are how you can create anything at all.
When you choose to go for it, you will need to be mindful of yourself, so that the pitfalls and well-meaning but frequently negative friends, family, and other commenters don’t derail your dreams. Only when you go for it full-tilt, without fear of the what-ifs and potential suffering, by doing something not-the-normal, will you most easily make it happen.
You are worthy and deserving of living life to the fullest. Don’t let fear of the unknown and losing comfort or suffering keep you from being as amazing as you can be.
Go for it.