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Why Is It So Hard to Just Be Yourself?
Nobody is at fault or to blame, but neither does anyone tend to teach you this.
Two of the most distressing things that dominate our society are the expectations of others and the “shoulds.”
Early in our lives, before we’re even scientifically capable of self-awareness, our parents and other family members guide us. Eventually it moves from guidance to direction.
Instilling good habits in the young is very useful throughout life. Brush your teeth twice a day, fasten your seatbelt when you get in the car, modulate your volume when you speak, and the like help us develop healthy habits that can last us our whole lifetime.
However, in time this moves to more blatant directions. Sometimes they come with threats of punishment or some other unpleasantness if they’re not followed through. This can be direct or indirect. It tends to include things like how you should act, what you should do, who you should worship, and other things that are expectations of you based on the intents/desires of others.
This gets reinforced in school. The importance of conformity is hammered into us pretty early on. I have nothing against setting boundaries and instilling a sense of discipline in children as they grow up. The problem is that most models…
