You are Responsible for How You Feel

To some this is harsh. But being responsible for how you feel empowers you and doesn’t invalidate your feelings.

Photo by Jay Mullings on Unsplash

Feelings are complicated.

This is true for numerous reasons.

Feelings are a matter of both how and what. How you feel and what you feel can have very different meanings, and even conflict.

What are you feeling? This tends to be the name you put to the feeling you have. This can be challenging because there are lots of nuances in the description of what the feeling is. Angry and enraged are similar but have different meanings. Happy and ecstatic — same thing. What you are feeling can take on many shapes, colors, and sizes depending on your experience and other matters.

How are you feeling? This can be complicated because it sometimes defies definitions. Depression is a perfect example of this. Depression can feel like emptiness, disgust, sadness, disappointment, and an overall indescribable sensation of wrongness. But the how of the feeling of depression can be confusing, variable, and different in each circumstance.

That’s not even getting into how each of us feels the what and how of feelings uniquely.

Then, just to add another wrinkle, feelings you did not choose nor seek can impact you. Happenings outside of yourself can cause you to experience feelings. This can be big-picture matters, personal issues, and general beliefs you hold having an impact on a given situation.

For many, this is going to be harsh — but — you have all the power to control what and how you are feeling. When all is said and done, you are ultimately responsible for your feelings.

Your feelings belong to nobody but you

Who is inside your head? You. And you’re it.

Yes, you can let other people into your life, and they will get pieces and parts of your mind, heart, and soul. But at the start and end of every day, you — and you alone — are in your head.

Nobody else is capable of thinking, feeling, or doing for you but you. Nobody else has your inner being, mindset/headspace/psyche, beliefs, or habits.