Member-only story
You Will F*ck it Up
Then you’ll f*ck it up again. But you choose to learn from it or not.
In my 20s and 30s, I had no idea who I wanted to be. Because of that, I had a tough time staying in any given job or relationship.
There are a few interesting patterns you can see when you look at my life. For example, I’ve never lived in the same home for more than 10 years. Same general neighborhood, sure. But never the same home. Part of that was due to an inability to commit to anything.
Why was I unable to commit? Fear of failure. An equal fear of success. Fear that I would miss out on something better if I was in this job, that relationship, or living in that place. All sorts of what ifs, real and imagined, swimming around my head.
Overall, it was always about one thing. That I would f*ck it up. It didn’t matter what “it” was. Job, relationship, car, home, plan? I was terrified that I would f*ck it up.
And I did. Because you will f*ck it up. Frequently.
When this happens — and trust me, it will — you have a choice. Learn and grow from it or seek to place blame, deny, and shrink from it. The choice of what to do, where to go, who to be, and everything else involving you and your life is utterly, wholly, and completely up to you.
